Nathan Ripperger says things to his kids, and then turns his words into posters. They’re so spot-on they make me giggle! Have you ever said something to your kids and then realized how ridiculous it sounds? Please share! I love hearing stuff like that.
Thanks to Design Taxi for introducing me to Nathan’s work.
Great idea for a website. Here are some of my momisms:
“No screaming unless there’s blood.”
“If you keep on fighting I’ll throw the Wii against the wall”
“If I have to walk down these stairs someone’s getting grounded”
I once overheard another dad who said, upon seeing his toddler chasing a kitten with a sharpened pencil, “Owen! The cat doesn’t need the pencil!”
I do not have children. I do have 12 nieces and nephews, 7 of which are 2-8 years old. This made me laugh so hard, I cried. I’m in law school and this was the ultimate stress reliever. :-) The funniest thing I’ve ever heard from one of my lil ones is when my nephew met my husbands niece ( she’s biracial) and got mad because ” God painted her brown and brown is MY FAVORITE Color. “
My 5 year old son gives me unlimited quote opportunities.
“No, mice don’t live in your nipples.”
“No, you are not an alien.”
“This isn’t Star Wars. Don’t kiss your sister like that.”
“Putting clean underwear over dirty underwear doesn’t count.”
“Dressing up for church doesn’t mean a batman costume.”
I’m glad I’m not the only one! I feel crazy when I have to say things like “don’t feed your sister food you find on the ground” or “if you don’t know if it’s alive or dead, don’t lick it”
To my son: hey buddy! Stay out of the dogs bed until you dry off and put on some underwear.
Hey buddy! Stop trying to balance your juice on one finger.
Hey buddy! Worms stay OUTside of the house.
Hey! We don’t touch dead animals
Stop dancing on the table!
He was quite a handful.
A couple I’ve said
“Don’t eat your sisters’ boogers.”
“It’s yucky to lick your fish tank”
*sigh* my children….
“Stop being a horse” When someone is asleep
“No, that did not come out of a dog’s butt. That is chocolate cereal. ” referring to a spill in the grocery store.
“Stop trapping the baby in the laundry basket!”
“Don’t tie yourself to (item of the day)”
Here is a semi-off topic story as well. Let me start off by saying that I am somewhat deaf. My daughter had just run full-tilt, eye-first, into the sharp corner of a wall. With her hands over her face, so that I couldn’t lip-read, she kept on asking me something. After asking her to repeat herself several times, still not knowing what she had said, I finally just said “Uh-huh.” At that she started sobbing hysterically “But I don’t WANT my eye to fall out!!!”….
“You have to have clothes on to play with friends”
“Underwear goes on your bum. It is NOT your super-hero mask”
“Don’t pretend to hit the baby, she is not Dr. Doom” (or other villain of the day)
“The bunk-bed is not a diving board! Stop jumping off of it!” (To my 4 yr old)
“Stop jumping off the dresser over your sister” (referring to her baby sister)
“No, you cannot wear my shirt to the store” (again, to my 4 yr old.)
“Stop eating your hair!”
“Flies CANNOT hurt you. They are not scary” (for the billionth time this summer.)
I know I must have many more. I’ll have to think about it.
My husband said to our daughter
“OK I made you and I can send you back”
Our daughter was very perplexed
“Quit licking the store!!!’