Two little stories and some questions:
1) The other day, I saw a picture of myself and remembered I need braces. I had braces as a teenager — it was actually my freshman year of college — but they have since gone a bit wonky on top. I confess, I was never good about wearing my retainer. : )
2) Our friend Olya came to visit last week. During one conversation she mentioned that eyelid surgery, botox and fillers were really popular where she lives — even for women in their twenties. I was shocked! I’m not sure I know any one in real life who has tried any of these procedures.
Both of these stories have me thinking. Yes, I would definitely be interested in having my teeth fixed and no, botox has never crossed my mind, but they are probably equally invasive. It makes me wonder, what do you consider cosmetic surgery? What’s okay with you and what’s not? Are botox and breast augmentation the same in your book? How about teeth whitening? Or laser treatments for spider veins? Are there any lines you draw when considering cosmetic procedures? Maybe nothing that requires general anesthesia? Are cosmetic procedures common where you live? If yes, are women secretive about it, or is it out in the open. I’m so curious!
Also, back to my teeth for a minute, are braces on a 30-something too tacky to even think about?
Perfect timing… I am just recovering from a breast reduction. I was completely against any “changing” of what I was given, but eliminating the pain and hassle of lugging these babies around 24/7 has been worth it. I wake up every morning so grateful.
I do not think braces are cosmetic. Reason being, I suffer from severe TMJ, and have had to have braces 6 times in my 35 years of life, and will probably have to have them several more times. It doesn’t matter what the doctors do to try to “fix” the TMJ, my jaw always slips back into its pattern, leaving me in some days, severe pain. I have had my jaw broke and my mouth wired shut I don’t know how many times. Once the pain is too much to handle, I opt to get braces and wear the side bands to help move my jaw back into place, as well as having my jaw broke and wired shut. It seems to work, if only for a short amount of time. My teeth aren’t perfect, but they are straight. I have NEVER loved my smile, even after I have had my braces removed. I don’t know if my dislike for my smile has to do with the fact that I am always in such pain from the TMJ and I have never really enjoyed my smile. No, I don’t think braces are cosmetic…IMO.
I say get braces if it will improve your bite (as Paige discusses) and/or make you feel better. I’m going to preface my next comment by saying I had braces when I was 11, for about two years, and there’s been little noticeable shifting since BUT I find slightly crooked/imperfect teeth kind of sexy. Vanessa Paradis (Johnny Depp’s wife) is a good example. She has a gap between her teeth you could drive a truck through but she’s beautiful and has modeled for Chanel. She’s also French who I think appreciate imperfect beauty more than Americans do. They have a phrase for it, “belle-laide”.
As for other procedures, in my 20s-40s I was very rigid in my views — completely against surgery for the sake of vanity — but now that I’ve turned 50 and have noticed the effects, I am much less judgmental. If it will really make you feel better, do it. It’s your life and no one’s business other than yours.
I had braces in my mid-20’s while pregnant – and I’ll tell you that’s the way to go! Your gums soften when you’re pregnant and your teeth move faster (at least in my case). I did feel dumb in labor with braces, but they weren’t a problem. I realize you’ve mentioned June’s your last, but i just thought I’d mention my experience.
And after nursing 4 kids, I’d love non-deflated breasts, but i think it’s out of the budget!
I have definitely considered and even priced out a tummy tuck after having two C-sections. Even though I work out regularly and wear Spanx, I can still see the line of my scar through certain clothes and it really bothers me. I wouldn’t get a breast augmentation, although the thought has crossed my mind, because a good bra is all the help I need. I think that if it bothered my husband, or if I felt like other people noticed, I would probably be less inclined to consider surgery. But the fact that it bothers me even though no one else really notices makes me want to do it even more. Also, my teeth definitely shifted when I was pregnant so I am hoping to start the Invasalign treatments soon. I think, as an adult, if your reasons for making a physical change is to make someone else happy, then you may want to pause and revisit your priorities. But if you feel you need a change for you, because of something you are not satisfied with, and you are not putting yourself at risk by becoming addicted to cosmetic procedures or your family in financial ruin, then go for it.
I’m in the same boat with the braces! And I may get them some day, if there’s disposable income sitting around. But beyond that? Nah. General anesthesia is not something I’d volunteer for, and I’d rather spend the money on a big adventure…like living abroad!
i would definitely do braces again if i felt like i needed them. i had them twice and have had retainers since i was 13. ask for permanent retainers – you will never regret it. i get compliments on my teeth all the time and i know it’s because of my retainers (a huge thanks to my orthodontist, who just does that for everyone, and to my parents of course, for not giving me a choice!).
as far as the other cosmetic stuff goes, it’s definitely something that is a personal decision. i am an aesthetician and have worked in a medical spa, so i saw A LOT of bad boob jobs, bad botox, bad lipo, etc. if you go to the right doc and you feel really passionately about something, i say go for it. i’m in my early 30’s and i’ve had botox, a lip filler, dark spots taken off of my face, moles removed, and laser hair removal. the lip filler was the scariest for me because it altered my appearance the most. funny thing was, most people couldn’t tell i’d had something done. and i felt a little bit at ease knowing that it wasn’t a permanent thing.
just make sure you do your research and, if you go by word of mouth, make sure you see, in person, what kind of results people have gotten from their doctors. that’s the best advice i can give. good luck!
I live in an area where we are bombarded constantly with advertising for invasive cosmetic procedures and it makes me sad. After listening to it on the radio day after day on the way to school, my girls (8 and 5) started noticing and asking me about it. It turned out to be a great discussion as we talked about how are bodies are wonderful just the way they are and how we should strive for health, cleanliness, and femininity. There is so much more value to a female than her body, and I hope to teach my girls the power of their creativity, humor, education, perserverance, and goodness.
I just feel like a lot of women get confused by the constant barrage of media regarding the “perfect body” and I wish I saw more women out there who felt confident in their own body over the course of life, and who could find enjoyment the aging process. I am fine with my tummy stretch marks because I was able to carry three beautiful children. I am fine having “deflated” breasts, because I was able to breastfeed them all for as long as I wanted! I am fine having crows feet around my eyes because I’ve had a life full of smiles and laughter.
What I’m saying is why are we all trying to be something we’re not? I have found that there is never happiness where any level of dishonesty is concerned. I am all for making an effort to exercise, eat right, sleep well, and love ourselves. I love to wear clothes and accessories that make me feel happy and speak to my personal style and taste. But my personal “line” is doing anything that doesn’t feel authentic. And I hope that my example of being okay with a less-than-“perfect” body will inspire others to be the same. We are beautiful women and should be proud of our bodies– and the amazing things that have taken place throughout our lives to shape them.
I love your comment, Marisa. Well said and well lived!
Ditto!
Beautifully said! I completely agree!
My dad didn’t get braces until he was in his late 40s! Our family orthodontist actually gave them to him for free since my dad had paid for all four of his children to have braces first! Buy four, get one free?!
Braces are not cosmetic, they are for the health and longevity of your teeth. “Crooked” teeth can be difficult to keep clean,and therefore can contribute to gum disease, and eventually tooth loss. I would not compare braces to botox ever! I don’t mean to sound harsh! Sorry! I’m a dental assistant and know how important oral health is. That being said….I would like to try botox. I know several people who have and they really like the results. Maybe it is just very commom here in California. So enjoy reading your blog! ~Jill
no, no, don’t get braces. straight teeth are way overrated.
I am 35 & have braces. I got the clear ones & am so glad. My grandma got them in her 70’s. I say you are never too old to straighten your teeth.
Not a fan of surgically altering my body ever…even after children. Children are my reward for deflated boobs. They were worth it! And what message am I sending my daughters if I need to alter my body? We have some twisted body image issues in America for sure. I don’t want to make it worse for my girls by portraying a “perfect” body image that I attained through surgery.
But don’t think for a second that I don’t sometimes wish I had a few less wrinkles and sags! It just is what it is! All I can hope is that there enough women who feel they way I feel so that as I age, I’m not the only one who looks REAL!
Great discussion!
xo,
Linsey
i saw a documentary on a woman who had a double mastectomy and chose not to have her breasts reconstructed because of the message that she would be sending to her daughters. i was inspired and amazed at her courage. it is a decision that i am 100% confident that i would not make for myself, yet i was totally inspired by her ability to do what she thought was best for her and her girls. i have also applauded women who have felt unsatisfied with what was left after having nursed their babies and had their breasts reconstructed, which in our culture can also take a lot of courage. i say to each her own.
p.s. i’m pretty sure you know a lot of people who have had botox.
Actually having wonky teeth can alter your bite causing huge medical issues -asking anyone with bad TMJ caused by misalignment! Braces can be cosmetic, of course, but they aren’t always!
I had clear braces called Simplify. They were only $1,000 compared to the $5,000 of invisalign. I hadn’t worn my retainers during pregnancy and then they didn’t fit after the kids. My teeth were shifting towards each other, and when one finally chipped the other, I decided it was worth it to have them corrected. 12 months and I was back to normal.
I’m on the fence for other procedures. I never thought I’d consider surgery, but as a size 6-8….with 32DDDD breasts- it’s hard to find clothes that fit and my back hurts every day. (I was a 32c before the kids and breastfeeding.) I agree with the mom above, that fear of dying on the table is what keeps me from going through with anything. (Plus the costs) Although every time I have to put on a swimsuit and worry about people seeing my chest, or have to spend a lot on one that actually fits, I reconsider. Having a larger chest isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…I wish I could warn the ladies that try to go too big.
Earlier this week I was trying to find a dermatologist in LA for a member of my family. Every doctor’s big push was not healthy skin but anti-aging procedures. After looking at website after website for doctors I was really freaked out that all the talk is about expensive anti-aging and nothing about skin cancer, healthy skin, etc. The websites were all so disturbingly slick looking. Really discouraging what this says about our area…not that I should be shocked but it’s clear where the money is made by these doctors.
I finished a two year stint of invisalign braces this year, a month before my 60th birthday! It’s never too late to correct your bite, but invisalign is the way to go, if you’re a candidate. You should look into them if you want orthodontia. Good luck!
I had a breast reduction at the ripe old age of 15, and it changed my life dramatically for the better. Having a more proportionate size increased my confidence significantly (I was NOT prepared for the looks and stares from members of the opposite sex at 15) and made shopping for clothes fun again. I could also sit up straight and wear a seatbelt properly, both of which were unbearably uncomfortable pre-surgery — as were wearing turtlenecks in Texas to camouflage the cleavage line I had from wearing double sports bras all the time. I had braces in college, and may do Invisalign in the future. I don’t think a breast lift would be out of the question, either. I don’t imagine myself doing anything that would dramatically change my looks, though.
Living in Nashville, where the entertainment industry is huge, cosmetic procedures are pretty popular. And obviously so, I might add. Women and men are both buying into it. My mom worked for a doctor who does a lot of facial stuff and had several skin procedures done that she was happy with, but I don’t think I could do it. My sister had breast augmentation in her mid twenties! I want to pass on to my daughter that we can be women and be imperfect and be happy with ourselves. Sure there are things that I wouldn’t mind changing, but they do not make me feel bad about who I am and what I have to offer the world. If they were a big source of unhappiness for me then I would have to ask myself why? This is a great topic!