I am Brazilian. When Brazilian women give birth they look beautiful. They get their hair done professionally and most even get their makeup done professionally AND their little friend down there gets the ultimate Brazilian wax. Women can plan this ahead of time because most of them get c-sections, like 90% of them.

I have ONE Brazilian friend that did not have a c-section. She was living in the U.S at the time and her doctor was not thrilled about elective c-sections. They compromised and he agreed to induce her labor a couple days before her due date. Her induction was scheduled at 10:00am so naturally she woke up at 4:00am to get ready. She took a long shower, blow dried her hair, spent at least an hour on her make-up and off she went to the hospital looking completely glamorous.

I’m a disgrace to the reputation of beautiful Brazilian women. After 45 hours of labor (4 of pushing) my first child, Enzo, came out to the ugliest looking mom that ever existed. I looked like a truck had run me over, multiple times.

With baby number two things may actually look a little better. I’m having a hard time falling asleep these days so I stay up soaking in the bath giving myself body scrubs. Two days ago I even waxed my legs, just the bottom half because that’s all my belly will allow me to maneuver. I thought about attempting to give myself a Brazilian wax for half a second but since I haven’t even been able to see that part of my body for about 3 months now I decided to put that thought on hold. I’ve given myself facials and yesterday I even dyed my hair. Today I might go get a pedicure, we’ll see how motivated I get.

I’m not promising this baby anything. She just might come out to a very shabby looking mother. In fact I can almost guarantee it. I’m o.k with that though. I’m o.k with her starting out her life knowing that women shouldn’t have to wake up at 4:00am the day that they’re giving birth so they can get their lipstick on just right. But if I happen to look good[ish] I won’t complain either.

Maybe I’ll wear long dangling earrings this time.

From Damaris Palmer of Bebeloo.

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Note from Design Mom: for the duration of my pregnancy, I’ll be posting advice, memories and stories about pregnancy, childbirth, adoption and growing a family on Wednesdays. You can find them all by clicking here. I’d love to hear your story or memory or advice, feel free to submit it to gabrielle@designmom.com.