Schrödinger’s Rapist

This essay from 2009 is the best thing I’ve read so far this year. It’s called Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced. And I think it might be perfect.

The comments are now closed, but there are 1200+ of them, and they are (mostly) good reading as well.

The essay is about how there’s no way for women to know if a man who is approaching us is a good guy or a rapist. So we constantly have to observe and calculate levels of danger. It spells out five points that men can and should be aware of if they want to approach women. From the essay:

Come discuss this with me.

A Few Things

Hello, Friends. How are you? We arrived home from Switzerland on Wednesday night and I can’t wait to tell you about our trip. What a gorgeous country! (I made a Switzerland highlight on Instagram if you’re curious.)

Other things happening at our house: Olive will head back to Montpelier this weekend. I head out to Palm Springs for Alt Summit next Friday, so I’ve got some intense work ahead of me for the next couple of weeks. We have a meeting with a window specialist on Tuesday — we want to hire him to repair and repaint the windows and shutters at the St. Martin house. And the youngest three get one more week off of school — which means lots of visits to the pool and the ice skating rink.

I’ve got to get back to more Alt Summit work, but before I go, here are a few things I’ve been wanting to share with you:

21 links this week!

Living With Kids: Theresa Pham

I am happy today to introduce you to Theresa and her family. Theresa lives outside of Houston in a beautiful home that she and her husband renovated and decorated. Her style is impeccable and you’ll love getting a look around. Theresa also talks openly about the struggles she and her husband had as they tried to build a family — from IVF treatments to lost pregnancies. Welcome, Theresa!


Being An Ambitious Girl in America

Oh my word I had no idea how much I was going to think about this tweet about 4th grade elections:

At first I just laughed and mentally fist-bumped her, and then I started having dozens of flashbacks to growing up as an ambitious girl in America. 

One memory involves a friend from high school, Ryan Anderson. Ryan is a great guy. He is now and he was then. Friendly, kind, handsome and popular.

One reason I’ll always be grateful to Ryan: Once when I was a sophomore, all my friends had been asked to Junior Prom, but I hadn’t and I was so sad about it. Ryan came over and picked me up on his moped and hung out with me all evening and made sure I didn’t feel rejected. And Ryan was such a good guy, that my friends were rather jealous they went to junior prom instead of getting to hang out with Ryan. : )

Anyway. A couple of years later, it was time to run for Studentbody President for senior year. I was born ambitious and had been working toward Studentbody President since I learned the position existed.

I’m very curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Keep reading.

A Few Things

Hello, Friends. How are you? What’s up with you this week? Are you doing anything fun for Valentine’s Day? We typically do a Valentine’s Day breakfast for the kids, but this year, they asked if we could do a dinner instead — because they would rather sleep in a bit. : )

Something fun at our house: We had a big feature in the regional Ouest France newspaper today! We didn’t know it was coming out today and it was a fun surprise. The kids found out about it at school from their friends, and Oscar brought the newspaper home to show us. You can read it here in French. I like that it focuses on us as a couple and that it came out on Valentine’s Day.

Another fun thing at our house: A two-week school break starts this weekend! So we are hitting the road and driving to Switzerland to find some snow and see the mountains. We’ll be visiting Zermatt and Chamonix, and we’re staying in Leysin. It won’t be a long trip — we’ll be back on Wednesday night — but we have a great schedule planned so far. Tobogganing, and a spa, and I think we’re going to take a famous train ride — the Glacier Express.

We’ve been to Switzerland in the summer before, but this will be our first winter experience. And we’re so excited! We head out first thing tomorrow, and there are piles of snow clothes around the house at the moment. Have any Switzerland tips or recommendations for us? I’d love to hear.

One more fun thing: Olive is joining us from Montpellier! Her host family has a two-week school break too. (Another time I’ll tell you how much I like the French school schedule — six weeks on, two weeks off.)

And now, let’s head to the link list. Here are a few things I’ve been wanting to share with you:

17 links just for you.



Design Mom is all about the intersection of design and motherhood. I'm Gabrielle Blair (some people call me Gabby), a designer and mother of six. I think you're going to love reading Design Mom.

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