Comments on: The Myth of Worthiness http://www.designmom.com/2013/10/the-myth-of-worthiness/ The Intersection of Design & Motherhood Tue, 13 May 2014 10:54:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: sarah http://www.designmom.com/2013/10/the-myth-of-worthiness/comment-page-1/#comment-761488 sarah Fri, 18 Oct 2013 00:12:31 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=41829#comment-761488 you need to listen to her interview with Krista Tippett on the NPR show On Being- such a powerful interview!

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By: Gabriele http://www.designmom.com/2013/10/the-myth-of-worthiness/comment-page-1/#comment-759858 Gabriele Tue, 15 Oct 2013 13:01:27 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=41829#comment-759858 Thank-you for posting about Brene Brown last year. That led me to her TedTalk and her books. “Daring Greatly” added shame to the bouquet of “not enough” feelings we all harbor. These ideas changed the way I teach children. Her definition of shame is not feeling guilty for something we do wrong but the deeper feeling of not being worthy because of something we can’t change change about who we are. We have all felt shamed and sad to say we have all tried shaming others to get what we want.

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By: Carly http://www.designmom.com/2013/10/the-myth-of-worthiness/comment-page-1/#comment-759682 Carly Tue, 15 Oct 2013 05:49:01 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=41829#comment-759682 I think that’s such a useful way to frame being kind to yourself – nurture yourself the way you would nurture your children; encourage and reassure yourself as you would your children. I heard a good maxim for perfectionists the other day – ‘Seventy per cent is perfection.’ I’m pretty certain that I meet the 70% standard in my life and it feels great!

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By: Melissa de la Fuente http://www.designmom.com/2013/10/the-myth-of-worthiness/comment-page-1/#comment-759563 Melissa de la Fuente Tue, 15 Oct 2013 00:14:23 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=41829#comment-759563 Too true, too true….I love this and couldn’t agree more. Often, I think about how I HOPE my daughters talk to themselves & treat themselves. Then I think, I better set a good example and be kind to myself.
xo
Melissa

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By: Gia http://www.designmom.com/2013/10/the-myth-of-worthiness/comment-page-1/#comment-759457 Gia Mon, 14 Oct 2013 20:32:44 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=41829#comment-759457 I love this, and need this… I am so insecure at times.. Like when my relationship is complicated I become so upended and lost. I don’t know the solution.. Except it gets better with time, if I have a fight with my boyfriend. I’ve also realized it’s a lot about our REACTION to life more than what happens to us. It’s up to me to not over react out of fear or insecurity, which is hard when it comes so naturally.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/10/the-myth-of-worthiness/comment-page-1/#comment-759440 Amy Hackworth Mon, 14 Oct 2013 19:19:24 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=41829#comment-759440 I live what you said about gratitude, and such a good observation about the isolation of our culture. It can be difficult to connect, but so important.

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By: Zoe - SlowMama http://www.designmom.com/2013/10/the-myth-of-worthiness/comment-page-1/#comment-759431 Zoe - SlowMama Mon, 14 Oct 2013 18:58:39 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=41829#comment-759431 Have you ever read any Conrad Baars? I studied his theories back in the day and they are right on. He says that we all have an intrinsic need for love and it’s only in receiving unconditional love that we can feel worthy, good, and lovable — and have the capacity to love in return. He called this “affirmation” and said that when one is deprived of authentic affirmation (criticism, rejection, being ignored, neglected, or abused, etc.) early in life, emotional growth is stunted. I think many of us suffer from this to one degree or another and that our culture’s obsession with perfection adds to feelings of unworthiness and never being enough.

I’ve come to believe that we can affirm ourselves only to a certain degree; we really need others. This is tough in a culture marked by isolation, independence, busyness, and mobility — true community and deep personal relationships are harder to sustain — but it’s still very possible.

One of the things that has helped me with all this, besides my spiritual life, is gratitude. Cliche, I realize, but if you really, truly try to live from a place of gratitude each day — about everything — it does change your perspective about yourself and your life.

I love your line: “We don’t need to wait until things are perfect (because they never will be!)…” So true!

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