Comments on: Improving Families (Lessons from Software Development) http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/ The Intersection of Design & Motherhood Thu, 10 Jul 2014 06:45:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: get into the groove | six degrees north http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-714115 get into the groove | six degrees north Mon, 02 Sep 2013 14:25:50 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-714115 [...] A new year at school, whether it be September or January, gives a sense of a fresh start, a time that resolutions, and star charts, and chore lists should be drawn up. A big part of me wishes I was that mother who actually carried out all these wonderful plans. I love ticking off a list, so why not take it further and inflict (I mean involve) it on the whole family, or take it a WHOLE lot further and implement software development techniques to improve family functionality. I kid you not, read about it here. [...]

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By: Kristiina http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-697263 Kristiina Tue, 27 Aug 2013 19:10:23 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-697263 Great ideas…with school starting next week this article and your input couldn’t have come at a better time. Thanks, Amy and the Starr family (and of course, Design Mom)…:)

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By: Eleanor Starr http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-697176 Eleanor Starr Tue, 27 Aug 2013 18:51:02 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-697176 Hi, it’s the afore mentioned Eleanor Starr. I’m working on remaking our lists for the new school year, and after reading some of the comments, I’ve got this advice:

For us, lists and visual reminders only work in their present state for about 3 weeks, and then we need to change them. A change can be as simple as changing the color of paper the list is printed on, or the color of ink the list is printed with. On our self directed morning list, I’ve added one line that I change every few weeks, and I’ve found the kids love it. It usually says something like “tell mom you love her”, “give mom a hug”, “do 7 jumping jacks”, “suggest something for dinner”, “squeeze the dog”, etc. I try to make it simple, and fun. Every time I change this line, I change its placement on the list, which keeps them engaged with the list.

Cheers! And I wish you positive changes!

Elle Starr

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By: Marian http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-695995 Marian Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:49:53 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-695995 We have 6 kids and do use checklists, but it is an ongoing ebb and flow in effectiveness. . . . And then I have to remind then to check their list. Moms are reminders, no matter what we will always find something to follow up about.

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By: kirsten http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-693186 kirsten Tue, 27 Aug 2013 01:41:02 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-693186 I think its the same premise that lands women on What Not To Wear – LOL. We give too much, including picking up the slack when it comes to organizing and managing day to day life.

Most homes (not all – but we would likely all degree most) are powered by the mother, and so we quilt together what we can to make things work, and usually that means not teaching or forcing everyone to pull a little more weight.

Maybe if I market Megan and I as the Clinton and Stacey of coordinating your family’s schedule we’ll have tons of users AND our own show….of course then I’ll have to start dressing much better…..ahhh the irony! lol.

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By: heidi http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-693002 heidi Tue, 27 Aug 2013 00:20:23 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-693002 we have a detailed chore chart that rotates on a monthly basis. (thanks to my husband, who maintains it) I can then easily see who has (or hasn’t) done their chores. The new challenge is teenagers who perhaps aren’t here to set the table, then whose job is it to cover. Usually it is me :(

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692790 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 23:05:48 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692790 I love hearing that this has been successful for you, Jennifer, and especially love your reminder to hug mom. Perfect!

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692785 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 23:04:49 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692785 Amanda, so great to hear that this has been working for your family! Congratulations on your success! Thanks for the inspiration!

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692781 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 23:03:16 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692781 I think my sister was counseled toward this kind of approach for her young teenagers in a Love and Logic class. Her son was sure upset when she didn’t insist he get up after he turned off his alarm clock, but I think he was on time for school the next day.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692766 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:58:47 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692766 So cool to hear this is working for you, Mary. Congratulations! I love to hear you’re “reaping the benefits of a more connected household.” That’s some great motivation.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692759 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:57:00 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692759 Really interesting, Hanna. I am not a software developer, and am only barely familiar with the ideas of agile and scrum. I’m fascinated, though, and looking forward to seeing more applications to home workflow and work workflow. I like your connections to Montessori–thanks!

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692748 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:54:46 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692748 Kirsten, I’ve spoken with friends about this same idea. Why does all of the home life stuff seem so overwhelming and why do I (more often that I’d like to admit) feel like such a novice at it? Very, very cool that you’ve created a solution! I’m looking forward to checking it out.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692733 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:52:17 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692733 Shannon, definitely let me know if it helps! I would love to hear and be inspired by your successes. I agree that it’s helpful to hear the Starrs are a regular family with regular challenges (and some pretty cool parents, it seems).

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692725 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:50:03 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692725 Nora, of course we’d love to see you! Soon! Good luck to you and Sam as school starts!!

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692723 Amy Hackworth Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:49:24 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692723 Wow! So impressive. I love having super organized friends who inspire me. I often have to remind myself that I have *other* gifts, but that I can keep trying on that organization front. :) Thanks, Martha!

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By: Jennifer http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692664 Jennifer Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:34:02 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692664 We’ve been using get ready lists for a couple of years and they’re so helpful. “How are you doing on your list” is much more effective than constant nagging. I listed the tasks for my older boys and took photos of the steps for my younger daughter (clothes, toothbrush, cereal, coat and shoes, etc.). Add check off boxes and take them to Kinko’s for dry-erase laminate so they can check them off each morning. My favorite to-do is “Hug Mom” — both for my older pre-teen and a reminder to me to slow down and enjoy the chaos!

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By: amanda http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692663 amanda Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:33:59 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692663 thanks so much, amy. finding this post today is just perfect. as an anti-scheduling homeschooling mom – we made our first ever chore schedule for the new school year – and it has been utterly amazing. i don’t have to say anything! what?!?!? and they are doing all sorts of chores that they had not done before (all of the things i was doing), + everything is done so much faster. and remember, i don’t have to say anything!
the idea of a family meeting! this sounds so, so good. a time to discuss things when everyone is calm + to all work to improve things. it is so what i needed to read today!
* to share with everyone – one more thing that has changed everything for me: setting the parental control time limits on our computer for each child. why did i not know to do this sooner? i no longer have to say when it’s time to get off of the computer. or debate how much more time they need! abolutely brilliant!
thanks again, amy. would love to know more about a family mission statement next!

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By: This girl loves to talk http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692603 This girl loves to talk Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:23:17 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692603 sometimes I wonder if it is about giving up control (not that I think of myself as a controlling person at all) after I complained about having to remind people to get ready for school a friend said – leave them. Go sit in your room and read a book. Let them be late. Let them go to the school office and get a late slip. Let them learn. Then help them with a list and still back off. Not the same as what you said here but similar in the fact of ‘taking the decision making away from the executives and putting in the hands of the team’

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By: Mary-- The Yellow Door Paperie http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692502 Mary-- The Yellow Door Paperie Mon, 26 Aug 2013 22:03:02 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692502 I read this book this summer and we’ve been using the family meeting/questions. I’d love to say we’ve mastered the morning routine but that has not been in place yet!

But with the family meeting/questions, we spend a bit of time (20 minutes or less) discussing these three questions. Actually, to some degree we use these principles at work (for a Fortune500 company). But, I find that they work better at a much more granular level with my 6 and 7 year old.

We also have used the weekly challenges in a way that they are all kid chosen, kid driven challenges. They have thought up great ones for our family to practice.

Are we not talking nice to each other? Let’s have a code word so that we remember to practice it more. Not having enough family time? Let’s mark off some days this week to be home and be intentional about being together.

The idea of taking a challenge and charting a simple solution, plus talking through our week– what worked, what didn’t work– levels the playing field and makes us all partners in our own family. We call it ‘practicing happiness.’

And it’s worked. We are about 6-8 weeks into this process and we’re reaping the benefits of a more connected household. I think it’s a great starting point!

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By: Hanna (mapart.me) http://www.designmom.com/2013/08/improving-families-lessons-from-software-development/comment-page-1/#comment-692411 Hanna (mapart.me) Mon, 26 Aug 2013 21:51:40 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=40120#comment-692411 Hi Amy! Are you a software developer? So am I :) I was recently thinking in the opposite direction – how educational philosophies could inspire management at work. I’m interested in Montessori philosophy and one day I realised why I (and generally most of software developers) like my work – because it fulfils one of foundations of work with Montessori materials.
Montessori materials are designed to be self correcting, i.e. child should not need any supervisor who says whether he is doing his work correctly. It should be obvious for child just from materials themselves. I think good example of self-correcting materials are puzzles – they just won’t match if you try to put the wrong piece in wrong place. And so is developers’ work – when I finish my piece of code I see it works (or not) – I don’t need anyone (my boss) to come and say “Well done” or “I don’t like it”. Code just works or not. Like in Montessori preschool / school :)
Another motivation to work is ability to select tasks by myself (we work with “scrum”, one of “agile” technics) – just like in Montessori preschool again.
These were the most obvious similarities I found, I guess there is much more in Montessori and other educational philosophies which could be inspiration for management technics.

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