A Little Update

August 20, 2013

18 years

By Gabrielle.

Oh. You. You wonderful people. Your good, kind words have been so soothing for me to read. I can’t tell you how much the support means to me. Thank you a dozen times over for taking the time to leave a comment or send an email or say a prayer on my behalf. I feel it.

A little update: I’ve taken it as easy as possible over the last few days. And I do feel like I’m seeing some improvement, but I’ve decided to see a doctor anyway — it just seems better to have a plan in place in case my mental state takes a turn for the worse. And since I can see that my mind is going to be fragile for many weeks (if not months), I’m hoping a doctor can help me stay stable through the worst of it.

I’ve been thinking about what it means for me to take it easy — while still parenting my kids, keeping appointments, getting ready for school, celebrating birthdays, etc. — and it’s less straightforward than I would have guessed. In my head, I was picturing “taking it easy” as sitting still for as much of the day as possible, but it hasn’t looked like that. I’m still running the essential errands, and though my amazing contributors have tons of great content lined up, I’ve actually craved writing blog posts (maybe it’s a small sort of therapy for me?), so you’ll be seeing me around here as well.

But I’m saying no thank you to most non-essential invitations/events, I’m consciously trying to set energy aside for dealing with life’s daily hiccups before they derail me, and I’m just generally trying to keep it simple. As an example, yesterday was our wedding anniversary and our celebration consisted of lingering in bed in the morning to reminisce about our wedding day, snapping the blurry photo above, and catching a late movie last night. Just the right speed for me at the moment!

Thank you again for being such a supportive, uplifting community. I’ve felt nothing but love and acceptance from you. It means the world.

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{ 101 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Melissa August 20, 2013 at 9:12 am

Praying you continue to feel better and are able to take it easy.

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2 Stacey August 20, 2013 at 9:15 am

Thank you for your honesty, Gabrielle- you will continue to be in my prayers. Take good care of yourself…. :)

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3 Esther August 20, 2013 at 9:19 am

Take good care of yourself, Gabrielle! Things can wait. xxxxx

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4 Heather August 20, 2013 at 9:41 am

Times like you’re going through right now are so hard, I’m sorry. Maybe your soul is doing a little house cleaning and anything that’s suppose to be there will stick around and the rest will just wash away. You have been a bright spot in my day for years, thank you.

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5 Emme August 20, 2013 at 9:42 am

Hope you feel better soon! And just out of curiosity–how do you decide when you need help? What makes you realize your emotional well-being is at stake? (It’s easy for me to know when I’m sick physically, but I think I pay less attention to being overwhelmed…)

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6 Lucy Mitchell August 20, 2013 at 11:15 am

I think when you are saying to yourself, if I feel like this tomorrow, I’ll see the doc…then just make the appointment straight away. Any good doctor will congratulate you on keeping a good eye on your mental health, although I know we all hate to be seen to “make a fuss.” Its amazing how someone just saying “feeling like that is totally understandable!” can make you feel better.

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7 Catherine August 20, 2013 at 10:02 am

Good on you to seek medical advice. You are right – taking it easy with (6!) kids is not… easy! Am thinking of you – don’t post if you don’t feel up to it – your writing is a constant source of joy for me (and has been over the last few years).

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8 Susan Galbraith August 20, 2013 at 10:07 am

Long time reader – rarely comment. Always feel like everyone else has already said whatever I’m thinking of saying (and done a better job!) – but there is something weird about knowing a lot about a blogger and wanting to reach out when they’re going through something hard. So, I’m going out of my comfort zone and letting you know I appreciate you sharing about your current struggles and have great hope you soon will be feeling much better.

Honestly? It would be sorta unbelievable if – after what you’ve recently been through – you didn’t need some down time! Yikes – I got physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted just reading about it!

God’s peace, comfort, rest and love to you, Gabrielle!

Oh, and happy anniversary!

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9 Shannon { A Mom's Year } August 20, 2013 at 10:16 am

Thank you for the update, Gabrielle. I’ve been thinking of you a lot, and the idea of getting a plan in place seems very wise.

Happy anniversary to you and Ben! The way you celebrated sounds wonderful. :)

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10 Amy3 August 20, 2013 at 10:19 am

Happy anniversary! I love the blurry photo; you look very much in love.

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11 Aliya August 20, 2013 at 10:23 am

You are so brave to be honest about how your are feeling with all of us and know that your honesty will help other mothers know that there is nothing wrong with reaching out for help. Your site has brought so much joy to me and wishing you a your family a restful end of summer.

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12 Robin in NoCo August 20, 2013 at 10:23 am

Congratulations and thank you for being so open with your challenges of late. I very deeply believe in successful women (and men) sharing openly about the mixed bag that is “having it all” – I’m coming off a longer-than-expected self-imposed hiatus from work and I want all of my fellow mothers to know that sometimes the only way to give all we can to our families and ourselves is to give very little to anything else… and that’s just fine.

Happiness, healing, and opportunities to redefine “success” to you, Gabrielle.

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13 Karen August 20, 2013 at 10:37 am

So glad to hear that you are being mindful of your health and taking care of yourself! I just saw your other post and wanted to comment on how impressed I am that you’ve managed to handle the upheaval of all the moving and re-settling ON TOP of taking care of your family and running your business. Stay well, best wishes on getting through this tough period, and happy anniversary!

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14 Sandra Gonzales August 20, 2013 at 10:39 am

First of all, you guys make such a cute couple. Happy anniversary!!
I’m a loyal reader (so much so that I consider you a friend) and I hope and pray the very best for you and your sweet family. Cyber hugs headed your way from a gal in Texas that values you beyond words.

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15 MindyZ August 20, 2013 at 10:40 am

I have loved your family since seeing you on House Hunters International. You are such a sweet and loving person. I will def. keep you in my prayers for healing thru this tough time for you. You are def. a strong person to go through all that you and your family has these past months as well as being such a strong and great mom. May God’s Grace get you better.
With Love
MindyZ

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16 Wende August 20, 2013 at 10:44 am

Take courage! You’re doing the right things. You are in my prayers. Sometimes writing things down helps to give some distance from the struggle. You are amazing.

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17 maryann August 20, 2013 at 11:17 am

Thanks for sharing! I can imagine this is a hard topic to cover, and I so appreciate your honesty. I wish you and your family the very best. Take care of yourself. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.

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18 Jennifer August 20, 2013 at 11:24 am

Yesterday was my anniversary too! I think seeing a doctor is an excellent plan, and has always been essential to my feeling better when I have been in the same place. I so admire your honesty–the more we are all straightforward about these issues, the less taboo they become. Hooray for you!

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19 Jennifer August 20, 2013 at 11:37 am

How do you know when you’ve had enough and need extra support? For example, when do you let Ben Blair know? I am doing well myself but recognize times I have just been past it, but I don’t always know when to articulate it to my husband or others. Praying for you and glad you’re sharing.

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20 Lauren August 20, 2013 at 11:40 am

So glad to see an update- I’ve been thinking about you since reading your last post. Best wishes as you settle into a gentler routine and take some time for yourself!

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21 carrie August 20, 2013 at 12:14 pm

i love that you match in the picture, did you plan that? happy anniversary and i will continue to pray for your healing.

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22 Timothy August 20, 2013 at 12:20 pm

Blessing Gabrielle and happy anniversary.

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23 Cathi August 20, 2013 at 12:25 pm

You give so much of yourself to your family, your readers and your many projects. I am always incredulous when you share your schedule on the blog. You give an entirely new meaning to pondering I-don’t-know-how-she-does-it, my friend. We are praying for you, cheering for you and encouraging you to take a much needed break and rest. (We miss you already!)

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24 Elise August 20, 2013 at 12:27 pm

Be Well Gabby! So good to take it easy and take good care of yourself. You are in my thoughts.

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25 Pearl August 20, 2013 at 12:36 pm

Thank you for sharing this. It’s so refreshing for another woman to speak openly about feeling down and getting help for it. This is so common, but so many people do not speak about it or hide their feelings. There’s absolutely nothing to hide or be ashamed of, so why do we leave these feelings in the dark? Thank you for your honesty, I think you have likely helped so many others feel more “normal” about their emotional status. Hope you are feeling better soon.

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26 Jayne August 20, 2013 at 12:37 pm

Thank you for being so authentic and honest with us. I truly admire that and how you are sharing that you struggle at times. It does a world of good for the negative stigma of mental health to have someone so public-and beloved- admit that they suffer too. I don’t know what else to say except I needed to come across this post right now. It means so much. Will have you in my prayers. Happy Anniversary:)

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27 Sheila August 20, 2013 at 12:38 pm

thanks for being so honest about how your move affected you. so many of us have challenges — me included — and it takes such courage to admit them. you do deserve a much-needed break after such a big move. here’s what i might do if i were in your situation {but take from this anything you think would work for you}: read in bed, get take out food for dinner, have a little chocolate, take a long bath or shower, and know, beyond any doubt, that you have blog friends cheering you on, sending good thoughts & prayers, and hoping you take good care.

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28 Aliesha August 20, 2013 at 12:44 pm

Just wanted to say I’m another reader who has been thinking about you a lot since you mentioned you were having a hard time. I also wanted to say “thank you” for being willing to share that. So many times I wonder how on earth your family does so much and you never appear stressed about it, at least not to us – I struggle to keep it together with just one kid!! So knowing that even you have your down times – its just meaningful to a mom who needs to be reminded she’s not the only one once in a while.

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29 Ellen Foord August 20, 2013 at 12:45 pm

Gabrielle! You are the light of many lives and you are so generous to share not only your triumphs, but your struggles. I know I get in the rut of “just put my head down and power through”, which usually leaves me in a very unhappy, mentally tenuous place when I finally come up for air. After all you’ve done in the past six months, plus all of the “stuff” around the corner, it’s incredibly you have been managing so gracefully. All of my thoughts of light and happiness will be headed your way. Hope today, tomorrow and each day after are just a tiny bit brighter. xo

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30 Danielle August 20, 2013 at 12:47 pm

I read once that moving is one of the top stressors in life, aside from death and divorce. (Makes sense to me.) What you are feeling is incredibly real and I appreciate that you are sharing with us, and happy you are seeing a doctor. Writing can be therapeutic, but please don’t feel compelled to write anything for us, your readers. It is just a blog, after all (not really, but you know what I mean). Your health comes first, and we’ll be here. Best wishes to you and your family.

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31 kelly harp August 20, 2013 at 12:48 pm

yay for slow. & yay for listening to yourself & giving yourself what you need :). sounds like you’re being a kind & gentle mother to yourself. i kept thinking of your gentle, honest post all weekend. bless you for sharing.
many good thoughts coming your way, sweet (e)friend.

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32 Patty August 20, 2013 at 12:49 pm

Before my last overseas move I asked for help as well, it was just too exhausting and I knew I couldn’t do it without help. Thinking about you, and thank you for being honest. I just know it will help someone reading this. We got your back…as much as we can :-)

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33 Susannah August 20, 2013 at 1:05 pm

We also just did a big move (2000 miles, 3 kids ages 3 to 9, been in the new place two weeks.) It is utterly overwhelming to be the mom in this – all the little details to figure out (exterminator for ants! piano teacher! finding a preschool!) plus all the emotions of missing friends and starting over. My husband moved 3 months before us, so we are getting used to being a family again as well. I admire your honesty to your readers as well as your courage in getting the help you need.

As Russell Ballard (I think) once said, “water can not come from an empty well,” referring to the need for women to take care of themselves and fill their well, so as to have something left to care for their family. May you find the help you need to refill your own well.

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34 mandi@herbanhomestead August 20, 2013 at 1:10 pm

Oh goodness Gabby. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. This happened to me too, last year, after a move. And it was weird because I was great right after the move, for a month even, and then collapsed (mentally, physically, etc). Taking it easy was key for me, but better yet was working with a health practitioner (a chiropractor to be exact). Turns out my adrenals were shot. I needed concentrated nutrient therapy to get back on track. All that to say, getting help from a professional really does help! And I do hope you find that help that you need. I know how desperate and sad it can all feel in the darkest moments. But there is great hope!

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35 Sam August 20, 2013 at 1:22 pm

Thank you for your brave honesty – it’s an inspiration. Sending you lots of positive thoughts!

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36 giulia August 20, 2013 at 1:31 pm

my family of six also just moved across the atlantic ocean and my mom is going through a similar phase. i think you are doing everything right, you, ben and your kids should be proud of you:)

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37 Kelly August 20, 2013 at 1:34 pm

Absolutely love your honesty. I find myself on the verge of tears, most days. Alzheimer’s took everything from my father but the love off his family. He passed early summer. My mother, who was at my father’s side for the past 10 years of his journey is now in congestive heart failure. It is just too much. It’s such a taboo topic but meds have helped me through this darkest period of my life. Thank you for peeling away a layer of the stigma.

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38 Lynda August 20, 2013 at 1:38 pm

Ever since I read your post about how fragile you were feeling you have been on my mind. I too know what that is like, and want you to realize how brave you are to recognize it and how smart you are to pull back on activities. Don’t hesitate to get help, it truly is a gift of this age to be able to have help. I have loved your posts and followed your family’s adventures with great interest and wonder. You are an amazing woman and mother. Just believe that and take care of yourself dear girl. You are in my prayers.

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39 Victoria August 20, 2013 at 1:39 pm

You have brightened so many of our days. I hope these comments can do the same for you. Please take good care of yourself. Protect and nourish your soul and things will surely get brighter.

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40 Miggy August 20, 2013 at 1:40 pm

Much love and rest to you Gabby! As someone who suffers from post-partum depression I know it’s hard to feel this out-of-body, why-can’t-I-control-this? feeling that comes with unexpected mental and emotional struggles. Thanks for opening up–as you lift so many through your blog, this lets us lift you a little with our love and well wishes. I always think that being vulnerable with others, so they have a chance to serve you (even in a small way) is a beautiful gift. And I’m so glad to hear you’re taking action to get the help you need. God bless.

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41 Robin Kendall August 20, 2013 at 1:40 pm

Love you so much, Gabby. Loved your anniversary simple celebration. You guys are the best, and that includes YOU!

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42 Laura Zarrin August 20, 2013 at 1:43 pm

Saying a prayer for you. Honestly, I have to say, that if I had 6 kids or had recently completed an international move or ran a successful blog, I would be a complete wreck. Since you’ve done all of them, I think it’s only normal that you’re having difficulty. So glad you’re getting help. You’re such an inspiration. I hope to meet you someday, especially since you’re now in my neck of the woods. ((Hugs)) from the South Bay.

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43 Jacquie Munro August 20, 2013 at 1:55 pm

You’ve been so giving of yourself and your family. A huge change such as this is a lot like a postpartum recovery. Let everyone else take care of the details, focus on what you feel okay to do each day and let everything else fall away (“No, I’m not able to do this right now” is a good phrase at this time), and let your brain empty and rest. Like you say, that doesn’t mean lying in bed, but walks in the forest with the children, or on the beach with your husband, or reading or even blogging…active, unpressured, and slowwwww…will be so healing. Blessings to you and all your family.

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44 jo August 20, 2013 at 2:01 pm

i so admire your willingness to talk about needing help or a break and about seeing a doctor. prayers and good thoughts being sent your way!

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45 Samantha Stinson August 20, 2013 at 2:11 pm

I COMPLETELY relate to how you are feeling and feel like you are a kindred spirit. Be tender with yourself.

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46 Sharon @ Discovering Blog August 20, 2013 at 2:20 pm

Was thinking of you today, when I was dealing with some problems at home with my son. I can only imagine what must be on your plate, so just remember to ask for help, and you will get through this time of chaos and change. I have 2 children and a full time job and was ready to quit today (not sure what I was going to quit, but was looking for something) and you have a much larger family than I do.

Thank you for sharing your struggles, it lets us all stop and relate and breathe and remember that maybe none of us know what the heck we are doing sometimes.

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47 Robin August 20, 2013 at 2:29 pm

Happy Anniversary and Congrats on all of the transitions. The story of the house is amazing! Thank you for being so open about your struggle, and gracious in your life. It is helpful and grounding to remember that everyone, even someone as dynamic, gorgeous, productive and overall amazing as you sometimes needs some self-care time to make it all work. Sending best wishes.

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48 Karen August 20, 2013 at 2:33 pm

As a mom who has struggled with depression and the feelings that go along with admitting it, I really appreciate your frankness. It helps me so much to see someone who I would consider successful personally and professionally recognize it in yourself and share it publicly. My husband holds a job where he can be sometimes judged by the way his family is presenting themselves and it has been a struggle for me to know how real to be with people when I know it will unfairly reflect sometimes poorly on him. I have found it so helpful to have close friends share their struggles with depression so we can help encourage each other to either take some time to ourselves, seek professional help from a counselor or MD or be diligent about eating healthy and exercising (my biggest trigger for compromised mental state is lack of exercise and consistent, good nutrition- such a struggle sometimes for me!). Anyway, I appreciate you and am praying you are able to continue to find ways to “take it easy” even when that looks so different as a busy mom and that you are able to find a doctor you feel comfortable with and helped by.

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49 Gretchen August 20, 2013 at 2:45 pm

This may sound goofy, but I want to thank YOU for being open about having a difficult time and about how you plan to “take it easy.” It’s something I struggle with — sometimes feeling overwhelmed and sometimes not-so-happy, especially navigating motherhood with a young daughter and another on the way (I see a fabulous counselor, which helps me so much) — but one of the things that my counselor and I have talked about often is that our society doesn’t offer many examples of how to need help, how to be vulnerable, how to take care of ourselves and/or ask for help. I think it’s so important for people to recognize/acknowledge that sometimes, we all need a little recuperation time, and sometimes we need a little more TLC from our families and friends and even our employers. I’m so glad you are taking care of yourself and so glad you have such a wonderful support system! And I am truly grateful that you are sharing this part of your journey as well. Thank you!

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50 Pipi August 20, 2013 at 2:49 pm

Good on you sister!

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51 Jane August 20, 2013 at 2:51 pm

Sending Hugs, your blog brightens my day and keeps me sane, thank you for sharing the ups and downs. Xxx

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52 Monica Lee August 20, 2013 at 3:05 pm

I appreciate your candor as well and it proves that an online community can really be a good thing, supporting your with prayer (yes, I will!) and with experiences. I had a physical health fail several years ago that led me to sit down with my husband and tell hi that it had taken a complete toll on my mental health. And God being so amazing….led me to a mental health doctor that held the key to what was wrong with my physically! I am still in awe of how God works sometimes.
All that being shared, if there is anything at all we or I can do for you while you rest and replenish, let us know. We will happily have your back!

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53 Lara August 20, 2013 at 3:26 pm

So glad you updated on how your doing. You give so much through these posts and I truly hope you know how much your appreciated. All the best to you…

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54 RuthWW August 20, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Gabby, you have had a lot on your plate! I commend you for doing what you do….even if you think it isn’t much. We can only do what we can do. My oldest grown daughter asked me why she stopped dancing lessons, and swim team and other various and sundry things when she was around 7 and 8….. After I gave birth to my last baby….who was in distress and eventually was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. I simply told her that I realized I couldn’t be a SuperMom and that I needed to pull back and make life simpler at home instead of running around like a chicken with its head cut off. There are stresses that each of us experience…and all different…..but we need to center ourselves in what is important….our families, our husbands, and our Sanity. You are so close to the temple. Go there for even a half hour and soak up the spirit there….inside or out of it. Know that you are special. Know that The Lord loves you and wants you to succeed. Success isn’t about doing more…..it’s about not running faster than you are capable.

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55 Kharolys Naranjo August 20, 2013 at 3:42 pm

You are my HERO!..Today we need a tons of woman like you!..
It is not easy to tell the true about ourself and you already did something that need courage! BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO!..That is life about “one step at the time”…

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56 Ann August 20, 2013 at 4:08 pm

I’ve been away for a bit. I’m sending you good vibes. I will ditto what everyone has written above me. Hugs.

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57 Michelle August 20, 2013 at 4:37 pm

Oh dear. I had to go back and read the tree house to catch your reference here. I just wanted to say, I’m thinking about you and sending happy thoughts your way. I just moved a mile and I’ve been off this summer. Moving is stressful and I can only imagine moving to a different country. The hardest part has been the change in friends, neighbors and socialness. We’re in different wards and I still don’t feel like I fit yet. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Take it easy, get help and support, and allow yourself to FEEL. The best part about living is FEELING and appreciating the happy days because we had sad ones. Anyway, I didn’t mean to go on and on. Just wanted to say that someone in Utah is sending well wishes your way.

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58 erma August 20, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Take deep breaths, relax and enjoy the beautiful surroundings of your new home.
Don’t worry about unpacking; don’t worry about things; just do what you can and relax. The health of your mind is so very important. We, all your readers, are pulling for you to have good days. Don’t worry about writing here; do things that feel good for YOU. I am so glad that you are seeing a doctor; I hope you are seeing a therapist; go for walks with someone; listen to music you like.

Put out paper, maybe 8.5×11 size. Not too big. Use chalk, use crayon, use the kids’ stash of art stuff and just do things that feel good. Don’t overthink, just do and make. Use glue, use magazine pages, use the newspaper print, cut and paste,
do whatever. Just make and relax.

Sending you many hugs and good wishes. Take care and let people take care of you.

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59 Cathryn August 20, 2013 at 5:55 pm

I love your openess and honesty and the lack of shame you (totally rightfully) feel about your mental health. I admire this so much and wish others were as courageous as you. Hang in there – we are all thinking of you! Maybe go for a bike-ride…nothing lifts the spirit like a bike ride :)

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60 Sandy August 20, 2013 at 5:57 pm

I so appreciate your honesty. It can be so easy to look at somebody else’s life ( on a blog) and imagine that it is perfect and wonder why your own life seems so far from being together, organized and ‘on track’. My thoughts are with you and hope that taking some time out for yourself will be helpful.

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61 Colleen August 20, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Hooray that you are putting yourself first! We, your loyal readers, are glad about that. Things always change….. things never stay the same! Be good to yourself!
Colleen

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62 Laura August 20, 2013 at 6:49 pm

Oh, I’m so glad you’re feeling a bit better and yet still planning on talking to a doctor as well. I was praying for you all weekend. It struck me how much I care about your well-being (and you in general!), after reading your blog every weekday for so many years…even though my realistic side kept reminding me that you don’t know me. Personally, I’m fine with a one-sided friendship! :) My prayers for you will continue!

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63 Tasha August 20, 2013 at 6:52 pm

I read every day! I cherish this site and also, as stated by others, feel like I know you and am inspired by you, Gabrielle!!! It is another lesson you demonstrate that we must all listen to our bodies and spirits as they guide us…good for you for following through! I have been away and “unplugged” so to see this post scared me for you not understanding what the discussion was about. I am not worried now as I know you will be alright…but that does not diminish your feelings about the path you are on today. I understand these are difficult days and nights for you and I pray for your comfort and peace. I wish for you to have laughter and love which I know you are surrounded by. One second, then minute, then day at a time…Breathe…♥

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64 HollowSquirrel August 20, 2013 at 7:05 pm

Happy anniversary and best wishes on feeling more like yourself… take it easy on yourself and please know your readers will be here as we always have been! We just want you happy and will understand if it takes time to come back — just do it at your own pace, please! I’ve had a tough summer and can empathize. Just imagine us lifting you up or sending you love and support!! xoxo

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65 Jackie August 20, 2013 at 7:22 pm

Happy Anniversary!
Get some rest! Moving is hard.

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66 Tricia August 20, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Rest easy, Gabby. Your concerned readers want you to be well. So glad to see your smiling face in that picture (with your sweet husband). Every day is a winding road. . .

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67 Jane August 20, 2013 at 8:13 pm

It means so much to have support of friends far and wide, which this internet has enabled. I know the pains of mental illness in my family and it is difficult to manage. But recognizing when you need to step back and/or get help is a great first step. I can’t imagine your work load + moving across country. I live a fairly provincial life, and that is stressful enough with four teens! My mom had six kids and took a nap every day. Her job was raising us – so managing so much more will certainly take a toll. Mom always said she was “tired.” Take care of yourself. Cry if you need to. Due to my own family battles with mental illness this past year, I have cried on many shoulder – mostly family – but also unknown friends that I have developed on Twitter! They were so kind and helpful. We have all grown. Good luck – I’ll add you to my prayer list!

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68 Cory August 20, 2013 at 8:22 pm

Thank you for being so candid about yourself, how you’re feeling and what life is really like. It takes great courage to share (especially in the global on-line world) so I admire your openness and also your strength to seek support. You certainly have mine!

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69 Laura August 20, 2013 at 8:55 pm

Take care, Gabrielle. Sitting still sounds so nice. Thinking of you and your family!

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70 Raquel August 20, 2013 at 9:30 pm

Be kind to yourself, Gabby. We’ll be here for you as you’ve been here for us so many times. Congrats for the anniversary.

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71 Karen August 20, 2013 at 9:35 pm

So I went through this before. I found out I needed way more sunlight thn I was getting . We lived in an apartment that I felt was really dark. When we moved out, I was a different person. I was deppressed and uninspired creatively. I learned a lot about myself because of that. My new standard for enough light when I house/apartment shop now, is if I i feel like I have to have a light on (in the middle of the day) then there’s not enough light.

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72 Dianne T August 20, 2013 at 10:30 pm

I so admire your openness regarding your current mental state. Considering what you have been through in the past couple of months-the move, the Summit, the purge I’m not surprised you’re feeling the effects! I was sad regarding your move from your gorgeous home in France-and I’ve only been reading about your life over there-not living it! Such a lot going on in a short period of time. Take care of yourself.

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73 Katie August 20, 2013 at 10:54 pm

Gabby, thank-you for sharing this vulnerability. I really appreciate seeing that you, stylish, put together Design Mom, struggle with some of the same things that I do. It helps me feel better about some of the struggles that I have.

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74 kristi August 20, 2013 at 11:23 pm

Happy Anniversary! Thank you for the update and also for reminding us how important it is to be cognizant of our health. Glad you have your support team in place. Be well.

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75 Debbie S. August 20, 2013 at 11:32 pm

Inspiring courage…best wishes.

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76 Kpriss August 20, 2013 at 11:49 pm

and thank you for being honest and always candid about everything!
easy does it
we’ll always be here
…your friends
wishing you Happy Wedding Anniversary!

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77 Kathryn C. August 20, 2013 at 11:55 pm

Dear Gabby, been thinking about you. My last move was so traumatic, I feel for you! I’m so glad you have the wonderful Ben Blair. Happy Anniversary! Xoxo

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78 Angela August 21, 2013 at 12:17 am

Sweet friend. Your sincerity and candor are so refreshing. It allows so many others to relate to you, and empathize with you. I hope you are able to pull your people around you and feel their love and support. Take all the time you need for yourself, and for your sweet family. Hugs to all the Blairs!!

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79 Misty August 21, 2013 at 5:08 am

Gabrielle, I hope you have some friends near you to help out. Virtual friends are fine, but they can’t bring you lasagne, listen to you bitch, do errands, wipe tears or run kids back and forth!

Take care…sending you a virtual lasagne right now.

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80 Ania @ The New Diplomat's Wife August 21, 2013 at 6:16 am

Hang in there Gabby – moving back and all that goes with it can be tricky on the mind and bod for lots of reasons, most of them unexpected and many of them not bad, but it is a transition, especially to come “home”, or a new concept of “home”. It’s okay to take space to work it out – give yourself the time and care you need in the beginning, it’s worth it in the long run.

Congrats on the beautiful house and happy anniversary!

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81 Stephanie August 21, 2013 at 6:47 am

Gabrielle, I wish you all the best! We just moved from the London back to the US and it has been difficult with so many things to accomplish! When I read your post I could totally relate! It is overwhelming sometimes and I think you are headed in the right direction! Taking care of you is very important. Thanks for your posts as it helps me to know I am not the only one who sometimes feels overloaded, especially when life is just not “normal.”

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82 Valerie August 21, 2013 at 7:48 am

Courage Gabrielle. As someone who suffers from depression and going through a rough patch right now, I sympathize greatly. It is more than just Okay to say that we can’t and need some time for ourselves. I also just discovered that being jet lagged is now a trigger for me, it never was in the past (even with kids in tow).

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83 Molly W. August 21, 2013 at 8:22 am

You have so much going on, I don’t know how any one could stay totally sane with all you’ve got on your plate! Relax and rest. I keep thinking of Jesus’ words “come to me all who are burdened and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Prayers being sent. xo

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84 melissa August 21, 2013 at 8:24 am

Gabrielle, I think you’re awesome. I admire how you raise your six kids, that you even have six kids, and your work–all of it. Best wishes and prayers.

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85 Whitney August 21, 2013 at 12:48 pm

I’m all for putting yourself back at the top of the list. Whenever I neglect myself – our family sleighride gets twisty. Knowing what I need and actually working my “self care” list is hard, time-consuming, but so needful. Be well and peace be with you. Welcome back to the USA.

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86 Debbie August 21, 2013 at 1:09 pm

Gabby, I thank you. I am a mother of 5 and we have moved a lot. Recently my husband mentioning another possible move affected me so deeply I could hardly recognize myself. I love where we are and so do our kids. I fear another big change and have wondered if I am being “weak”. My tolerance now that I am 45 for major changes is going down and it affects my sleep. I literally stay awake and watch the sunrise agonizing every life’s possible problem. It is difficult for my husband to understand. After reading your truthful post I feel less alone and realize we are all human. Too often we can look at another’s life and think it perfect and see another’s story and feel less than, but in reality everyone struggles through something. I know it is the kindnesses that make life worth living. The beautiful kindnesses are so important to me now.I cherish my good relationships and the great little moments. Bless you. You are helping more than you probably know. Xo Debbie

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87 Amanda August 21, 2013 at 2:54 pm

I’ve been thinking about this and am sending you lots of good thoughts. But mostly I want to say thank you. For being so frank and matter-of-fact and unapologetic. Because too many people suffer and are ashamed and hide their depression. So thank you, thank you, thank you for writing about your difficult time.

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88 samantha hahn August 21, 2013 at 4:33 pm

hang in there. your home is so beautiful and now maybe, with a little time you will be able to just breathe, settle in and give yourself time to enjoy your new life.

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89 kayce hughes August 21, 2013 at 5:18 pm

So glad to hear that you had a sweet day. You are in my prayers.
xokc

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90 Rebecca Coagan August 21, 2013 at 5:37 pm

Dear Gabrielle,
Hang in there, kid!
I am new to your blog-very cool, Olive Us series- amazing, moving to France-we’re doing it, etc. and loving it. You have been a great source of inspiration and sometimes anxiety imagining all that you consistently accomplish.
Personally, I have gone through…a bit…and most recently have received a neuro-adrenal test from my naturopath (one of many docs on the case). The supplements are amino acids and have been life changing. I am so much calmer and feel a sense of wellbeing most of the time. Basically, removing all of the “anxiety for no reason” symptoms and a lot more calm dealing with the “anxiety for good reasons”. This is only because of a lot of stress and the bodies adrenals getting weakened. I’m thinking a lot of ladies need some boosting here. Let me know if you need any further info. take care, Rebecca

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91 Lili Smith August 21, 2013 at 7:20 pm

Gabrielle, Hang in there! Take time for yourself — I know you have heard this before and probably will only slow down for one nano-second! You have an entire family out here routing for you to rest. Family always come first! We can wait until you are ready to start blogging again– Don’t worry, we will still be here : ) Because even though we don’t know you personally, we all have grown to love you and your family from afar : )

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92 Yvonne August 21, 2013 at 9:32 pm

Happy Anniversary! What a beautiful life you have built together – sounds like your celebration was just right – remembering that special moment when you joined together forever is so affirming. Lots of prayers for peace and healing are floating up to you from here on the island!

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93 Gia August 21, 2013 at 10:00 pm

What a lovely way to celebrate and Happy Anniversary. I’m so happy to hear that you’re taking it easy and being proactive about your health. Isn’t it funny how “taking it easy” looks so different after kids? I remember having totally lazy, self centered care days before children and now, something that just takes one plate out of my hands for the day, seems like a vacation. Hope you rest up and feel yourself again soon. Lots and lots of easy transitions to you, as kids start school and life settles in the new home.

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94 Nicole August 22, 2013 at 12:14 am

That pic is super duper sweet. Just take it one day at a time, one simple act of self care, one “no thank you, I’m not quite feeling myself right now”… And soon you’ll realize that you might feel a little better. I’m so glad you are taking care of yourself. We all have limits. Xoxoxo

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95 Jessica August 22, 2013 at 11:32 am

Happy Anniversary and best wishes for peace and healing. Agree with previous posters – this is such a wonderful and genuine blog! So glad you are taking care of yourself.

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96 Kirsten August 23, 2013 at 12:56 am

Thank you for your honesty in sharing what you are going through. So often we share our feelings and illnesses online but there remains a stigma about mental health.

And sometimes when trying to talk to others there can be a lack of acceptance or a shrugging it off…like you’ll get past it..and then on with our lives we go.

But sometimes, sometimes, these things are deeper. I finally gave into the idea of therapy a few years ago. After about a year of therapy and medication I realized there were a lot of things I had needed to work out and getting that help was the best thing I did. Now when things are overwhelming or I am “having a bad people day” I think back to things I learned and it helps. It also helped that she taught me things about myself that were okay about me. Accepting myself for who I am and what I have lived through has enabled me to have a better future. I’m a better parent, wife and person because of this.

Whatever path you take, whatever your future holds for you I wish you the best and happy anniversary.

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97 Mary August 24, 2013 at 6:10 am

Hi Gabrielle,
I wrote in a few days ago, and for whatever reason I just felt compelled to write in again. I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression for the majority of my life, and I really feel for you (and fellow sufferers) – I know how bleak everything can seem, and it’s just awful!

My little nugget of advice has to do with the state of your gut. There is more and more scientific evidence stating that our guts are our second brain, and control how we feel. Read here if you’d like: http://www.theverge.com/2013/8/21/4595712/gut-feelings-the-future-of-psychiatry-may-be-inside-your-stomach

Further more, you and your kiddos could make water kefir, or yogurt or any variety of yummy fermented foods. It might make all the difference in the world. Or at the very least, it will be a yummy addition to your meal!

Please feel free to contact me if you’d like to further discuss – I LOVE getting into the nitty gritty with healing foods! Until then, I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

xo
Mary

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98 Amber August 25, 2013 at 10:49 pm

I just wanted to add my words of support to what you’ve already gotten. I am pulling for you, I have teens and toddlers too and it is a lot of responsibility and dealing with buying a house overseas, what a nightmare! It took us over a year to move to our current home 1 hour away from our other one, and I thought that was a nightmare! Anyway, thanks for sharing yourself here, I loved seeing how it is possible to live in France with six kids, we plan to do something similar in the next couple years. Hugs, and prayers!

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99 Kate the Great August 26, 2013 at 11:11 pm

Oh, darling Gabrielle. You mean the world to me, and I hate to see you so down. You’re wonderfully brave to link to the post that has your admission of being not-so-peppy, even if it is at the end of a much-anticipated post of the inside of your new home. I’m glad you did link to it, because I had anticipated it, and would have missed it otherwise.

I’m rooting for you. Not the stuff you have, not your kids or your new location. I’m rooting for you. Because you’re such a genuine writer. I skip most of the work your contributors post, and your writing is still what I anticipate.

Rah, rah, rah! Go, Gabrielle! We love you!

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100 Gillian August 27, 2013 at 7:53 am

Thank you for your incredible courage. You are indeed a wonderful voice for women. And happy anniversary.

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101 Kari August 28, 2013 at 8:45 am

Hi there, Gabrielle. I hope you see this even though I’m commenting some time after this post. I have followed your blog for a while now, but I’ve lapsed my readership as I had my own huge transition this year. In December, my husband and I added our first child (about a year after marriage, so transitions abound). Then, in April, he accepted a position in a different country. His job search coincided directly with my time of birthing our daughter. In fact, he flew out 7 days after she was born for one interview (bad idea).
We just landed in our new country a couple of weeks ago, and I thought to look up your blog and whether your family had made its move. Lo and behold, you have! And you ended up in NorCal, which is where I lived for over three years. And (why I am writing) it was hard for you as well.
I identify with so much you have written, especially with the packing, sorting, getting rid of posts. We had to very quickly sort and decide on our household of accumulated goods, and it was gut-wrenching. We’d only lived in that one place since we were married, and it’s where our first child was born. So many beautiful things–what do you do with them?
Also, everything is really great for us, and it seems like things are pretty great for you as well (great new house! great kids! great husband!), and that makes it even harder to deal with negative emotions because on top of whatever else you feel you feel guilty for feeling bad. That’s me, anyhow.
So, thank you for your posts. They are helping me. I identify. I appreciate you.

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