Comments on: On Vulnerability and Courage http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/ The Intersection of Design & Motherhood Wed, 26 Nov 2014 13:12:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Christine http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-459388 Christine Thu, 02 May 2013 19:09:36 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-459388 This touches on something I need to work on. It can be so hard to let people in, and I need to remind myself of all the times it’s been worthwhile.

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By: Danyelle http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-459239 Danyelle Thu, 02 May 2013 04:58:27 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-459239 It is a good day when a post written Amy Hackworth pops up on Design Mom.

This piece was so beautifully written, Amy. I can’t stop thinking of how I would have reacted as the stroller pushing mom. I would like to think that I would have accepted but really, I’m not so certain. You’ve given me much to ponder.

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By: Building Kinder | Meg In Progress http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-459099 Building Kinder | Meg In Progress Wed, 01 May 2013 13:57:33 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-459099 [...] She said what I needed to hear, Amy has a way of doing that. But she did something else, something I needed so much more. She sat with me, listened with me, mourned with me, hoped with me. For the space of a few moments she took my problems up and made them lighter. [...]

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By: Melissa T. http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-459066 Melissa T. Wed, 01 May 2013 05:38:25 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-459066 I love that you are self reflecting enough to instantly realize that your “I’m good” was parallel to the mothers refusal for help.
I am sorry you were feeling down and needed a cry. I love you.
I was just given Brene Brown’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection” to read. I am excited to learn more!

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By: marymary http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-459042 marymary Tue, 30 Apr 2013 23:09:54 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-459042 What a beautifully done little piece this was. Thank you.

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By: Emily http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-459040 Emily Tue, 30 Apr 2013 22:47:04 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-459040 Amy, you are an amazing writer! I could totally relate, but even better, it made me take a moment and think. You haven’t changed from high school. I know we were never close friends, but I always thought you were one of the most kind, genuine people in our school, not to mention you have a beautiful smile. I’m so glad I came across this today.

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By: Joan http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-459020 Joan Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:30:42 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-459020 Thank you for your post. I had Stage IV lymphoma several years ago – primary site in the bones. A friend took me to the doctor and afterwards asked me if I would like some chicken noodle soup and chicken salad. My first thought was to say “no” but I paused and said how lovely that would be. It was in that instance that I knew that my husband and I were barely eating because of my illness. We lived I condominium and the kitchen/living area were one big space. I realized I had not been in the kitchen in weeks if not months because I was so ill (undiagnozed for years). I learned a great lesson and was, and will be, forever grateful for the little acts of kindness that come my way (cured BTW – 9 years out).

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By: Kirsty http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-459018 Kirsty Tue, 30 Apr 2013 19:18:23 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-459018 This is so beautiful. Thank you. I will be sharing it, it seems the appropriate thing to do :)

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By: Jillian http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458989 Jillian Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:41:11 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458989 LOVED this!

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By: Sarah http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458942 Sarah Tue, 30 Apr 2013 06:03:26 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458942 I am quite willing to be vulnerable. I love just feeling like I can be open and transparent. I’m just struggling lately to find someone to be vulnerable to/with. It just feels like everyone is caught up in their lives. I’m trying to find interests and get all caught up in my own life, but truth be told, my favorite, favorite thing is to feel connected with other people and to have my life intersect with theirs. I feel rather not connected with some people around me, that I would very much like to be connected with. It’s a bit tricky. And painful.

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By: good mourning. | musings. and ramblings. http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458934 good mourning. | musings. and ramblings. Tue, 30 Apr 2013 05:11:58 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458934 [...] this.  –  “…and we both kept [...]

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By: Katie http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458932 Katie Tue, 30 Apr 2013 04:55:14 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458932 Thank you for this beautiful post. It comes at such an appropriate time. I lost my father four months ago, and today is his birthday. He would have been 83. There have been so many times that people have asked me ” how are you doing” and I reply “just fine” when all I really want is permission to cry and grieve. I also have two children, the double stroller and know of that hill all too well. I hate asking for help- and will keep pushing forward by myself no matter how much I would love to let it all go and release it- and cry and cry until all the tears are gone for that day. Thank you for letting me see we are all vulnerable at times- whether it be a loss or a hardship- we all need help.

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By: Candice http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458907 Candice Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:38:52 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458907 I think what is hard about “burdening” others with our troubles is that we feel like we’d be transferring the total weight of the situation to them even though for them the load would be lighter and manageable for a short while. We live across the country from our families so that my husband can have his dream job but it means raising babies absolutely alone. Our first had colic and just cried and cried and cried for three months. It was exhausting and soul-crushing and I can’t say that I have any great memories from that time, which in itself hangs on my heart. I never felt like I could ask a friend, of which we fortunately have many, to come over and help out for two hours to give my hearing and sanity a break, but I’d do it in an instant for someone in the same spot.

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By: Joy http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458903 Joy Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:27:55 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458903 Amy, I loved this. Here’s why: I have two little ones that are 20 months apart. Countless times, I was the mother with the gigantic stroller, one of my babies (or often, both) crying, struggling to get through a doorway, struggling to just pick up a few things at the store, trying to load groceries in the car. I would have LOVED some help in those moments, and would have accepted the help gladly. So many times, the clerks just watched me sweat and fumble with the doors, never offering to help. I used to get frustrated and look up and send a “what-is-wrong-with-people?” God’s way.

So keep offering, because someone like me sometime will thank you profusely.

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By: Lesley http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458902 Lesley Tue, 30 Apr 2013 00:26:17 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458902 My initial reaction was that the mom was protecting her babies. In today’s society, parents need to stay vigilant all the time, which is sad, but a fact of life in these times. I disagree with the advice to jump in and help push. That would stress a parent to a great degree. So, don’t look back on this situation and take it personally. The mom was just guarding her precious babies.

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By: Abfab http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458892 Abfab Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:24:04 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458892 What a nice thing you offered to do! I wonder why the mother didn’t accept your help. That puzzles me.
On the vulnerability part, I’m going through something challenging in my family right now, primarily with my daughter and I feel I have no support. I finally opened up to a few friends; I feel soooo vulnerable…less strong…and quite honestly, I’m not sure I feel better for “opening up” but I know I’d feel worse if I did not.

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By: Anna http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458882 Anna Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:17:24 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458882 What a great piece! I think you’re right that we all probably need to allow ourselves to be more vulnerable – it’s certainly easier to be in the “strong” position of offering help than in the “weak” position of accepting it.
But at the same time, if she had let you help, she wouldn’t have felt quite the same sense of accomplishment and power when she got up the hill. And maybe you needed to act strong in order to feel strong for the moment. In that split second of deciding whether to say, “I’m fine” or “Actually, things have been tough”, you generally have to just choose the one that feels right – and hopefully when you really do need to talk, you’ll meet someone who’s willing to listen.
Thanks for the post! I’ve been accepting a lot of help recently and wanting to do more in return … but I’m going to try to let go of that feeling of indebtedness.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458872 Amy Hackworth Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:34:15 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458872 Wow, June, so many good points. It’s hard to ask someone to help who appears to have it all together when we feel like we’re falling apart. That’s why I think it’s so important that we choose honesty and vulnerability more often, because I think we’re less alone that it appears.

And yes, the kids in the stroller, totally oblivious. I’ve been there, too.

Thanks, thanks for saying that I pushed you up your hill today. That’s the nicest, June.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458869 Amy Hackworth Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:31:43 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458869 Thanks, Sara. This makes me smile.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/04/on-vulnerability-and-courage/comment-page-1/#comment-458868 Amy Hackworth Mon, 29 Apr 2013 20:30:58 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=35010#comment-458868 Yaaaay for Design Mom! Thank you, Meg. You’re the best.

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