Comments on: On Being Busy http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/ The Intersection of Design & Motherhood Thu, 17 Jul 2014 21:49:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Happy Friday! | A Thousand Threads http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-872852 Happy Friday! | A Thousand Threads Fri, 21 Mar 2014 16:34:58 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-872852 [...] On being busy. [...]

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By: Blaze http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-859009 Blaze Mon, 03 Mar 2014 09:53:59 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-859009 Also, the majority of states have passed automobile financial responsibility laws that require every driver to maintain sufficient funds to pay for damages caused to other drivers. Although some states allow drivers to QuotesChimp funds on deposit with the Department of Motor Vehicles to demonstrate financial responsibility, automobile insurance is a more cost-effective option for most drivers. Each year, more states pass laws that require insurance companies to report policy cancellations electronically to the Department of Insurance or the Department of Motor Vehicles. If the state receives notification that a driver’s policy has been canceled, the state will require the driver to provide proof of a replacement automobile insurance policy to avoid driver’s license suspension and possible fines and penalties.

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By: The Buzz About Busy Bees: Five Reasons People Need To Be Busy | powell609 http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-451797 The Buzz About Busy Bees: Five Reasons People Need To Be Busy | powell609 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 23:42:02 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-451797 [...] the blog post “On Being Busy,” by “Design Mom” blogger Amy Hackworth, she points out how people, in efforts to [...]

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By: Whitney Hardie http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-448231 Whitney Hardie Sat, 23 Mar 2013 22:13:05 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-448231 Amy, your posts are so timely and wise. I love reading what you share here and on your own blog. I’ve been thinking along these lines a lot lately. Busy-ness can be addicting, but it is rarely fulfilling. We wear it like a badge of honor and yet is can suck the joy from our lives. Thank you for bringing this up and for offering your thoughts on the subject.

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By: Jenni Fisher http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-447529 Jenni Fisher Fri, 22 Mar 2013 17:46:10 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-447529 Guess what? I love having a full plate. I am much more productive and organized when I have more to do. I LOVE being busy.

Or more accurately, I love standing at the corner of hectic and bored, the Goldilocks approach to the business of being busy. In other words, I aspire to fill my time with moments that alternate between fast and slow pace, producing an average pace of feeling “just right.” HOW?

For me, the bad guy of busyness is not the action, but the loss of autonomy and control…. whether I feel forced or trapped, or whether the activity is my choice.

What is busyness, exactly? It is incorrect to assume that busyness is synonymous with “fast.” If I am sitting on a park bench being physically IDLE, but mentally writing a poem in my head through active pondering, I consider myself active with mental energy. Taking time to remember, or ogle over a fresh patch of tulips is a busy mental moment. When I am sitting on vacation, sans cell-phone, sans the cares of the world, watching my kids busily body surfing in the ocean waves, I am busy being a present parent.

BUSY simply means you are choosing one activity, or five, at the expense of another. Tim Kreider tells of riding his bike every afternoon, implying that somewhere there must be a giant chart which rates different activities on a busyness scale: bike riding hanging attractively {deceptively} at the bottom, while work-related emails teeter destructively at the top of the pile. The irony, of course, being that while Kreider is out riding his bike, friends trying to reach him would, in essence, get a busy signal. The negative connotation of ‘being busy’ seems to stem from the benefit derived from the activity rather than the activity itself.

Even the ultimate antidote to busyness….meditation… requires a focus on being busy with emptying your mind and being busy with the work of breathing. The only break from busyness is death.

I choose not to look at busyness as the enemy.

The real enemy is the word YES!

Which makes NO the real hero.

The ability, wisdom and strength to selectively CHOOSE how to spend my time is where true contentment [& autonomy] lies. And isn’t that the whole intent of being “busy”…. to ultimately find sustainable peace and joy?

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By: Julie http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-447517 Julie Fri, 22 Mar 2013 17:13:33 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-447517 I’m a little late in reading this post, but I love it. Going to read that article. It has been a pet peeve of mine for years when people go on and on about how busy they are. Drives me nuts. I usually can’t tell if they are complaining or boasting, but either way it sounds like complaining and makes me want to end the conversation and move on. My neighbors often comment on how “simple” our life is all the time because we aren’t constantly flitting around from one thing to the next, but they plan theirs to the nth degree. I just can’t live like that. There are just too many unexpected and lovely surprises waiting around the corner if you have the time available to appreciate them.

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By: Melissa Walsh http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-447412 Melissa Walsh Fri, 22 Mar 2013 12:51:50 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-447412 I have had a similar moment with my second daughter. I find that I had more “time” or “patience” for these sweet moments and opportunities with my first daughter. I recall many times when, at the end of the day, I wished that I had given her/them that time to do a fancy twirl out of the car or to tuck their special treasures into their “purses” without rushing them, without the impatience in my voice and on my face. Sometimes…it’s okay to be late. Sometimes…being late is when all the magic happens.

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By: Christine http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446485 Christine Thu, 21 Mar 2013 01:31:55 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446485 I just finished Kreider’s latest book. He is brilliant! I thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought the context for his “busyness” was also fascinating (i.e. his survival of being stabbed). I thought he aptly captured how we have an expanded sense of life when we are at particular points of contemplation or experience, but then the busyness of life subsumes us again. I thought he pointed out pretty well how that can be both a blessing and a curse.

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By: Talya http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446347 Talya Wed, 20 Mar 2013 17:42:06 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446347 I want to recommend another book – especially applicable for those of us who do creative work of one type or another (isn’t that everyone…) It’s called “World Enough and Time: on creativity and slowing down” by the wonderful Christian McEwen. It’s a great one for dipping in and out of if you don’t have time to read the whole thing (ha, ha!)

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By: Regina http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446204 Regina Wed, 20 Mar 2013 04:47:36 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446204 I love this post! I read this article a few months back and since then I also resolved not to answer “How are you?” with “Busy!”, or “Things are good, I’m busy!” or other variations. I get this answer a lot too, and I’ve found that this response can end a conversation quickly (can I ask what she’s busy with? Or is she too busy to talk about it?). Come to think of it, “How are you?” is also a bit of a generic question and possibly deserves a generic answer. Maybe I should be asking my friends things like “What did you do over the vacation?” or “What book are you reading now?”

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By: Meagan http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446127 Meagan Wed, 20 Mar 2013 00:51:36 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446127 Love this! I am not a busy person… And often I feel guilty about that. Just as often though, I feel a tiny bit, secretly, smug, like I’ve figured out something the rest of the world is missing. Today I had a conversation with another mom at the library, and when I told her my child’s age (not quite two) she said oh, I must be very tired! I was a little embarrassed to admit, no, I’m actually not particularly tired. He’s currently sleeping well at night (knock on wood) spends 3 hours a day at school, naps until 3:30 every afternoon. I have plenty of projects to fill my “empty” hours, but the freedom not to be overwhelmed. Later, she was telling me about all the activities her daughter was involved in, and I was just baffled as to why any 6 year old, or parent to a six year old, need be that busy… It sounds exhausting!

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By: Shannon { A Mom's Year } http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446112 Shannon { A Mom's Year } Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:49:45 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446112 Oops. Wrong Amy! But I still like the question. :)

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By: Linda K. http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446110 Linda K. Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:45:45 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446110 Sweet anecdote – lovely reality check.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446108 Amy Hackworth Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:34:07 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446108 Glad to hear it, Shannon! So fun to hear your thoughts. I want to read your essay!

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446107 Amy Hackworth Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:33:13 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446107 Great questions. I think it’s important to volunteer, too. My idealistic hope is that if we all do our good, purposeful, fulfilling work (which includes serving our communities), things will get done. I do my part, you do yours, but none of us has to risk health or happy families for it? That’s what I hope.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446106 Amy Hackworth Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:29:11 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446106 Yes, Sandra, I completely agree. The intent behind my busyness makes all the difference in feeling fulfilled or drained.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446105 Amy Hackworth Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:28:09 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446105 Thanks, Stella. So glad it’s given you something to think about. I love that so many of the comments have focused on how we’ll change our conversations with each other. Very cool.

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By: Amy Hackworth http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446103 Amy Hackworth Tue, 19 Mar 2013 23:26:51 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446103 Amy, a friend recently pointed out, in regard to parenthood and career, how important it is for men’s AND women’s lives to be balanced, but I agree that more often women’s lives seem to require more balancing.

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By: Shannon { A Mom's Year } http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446088 Shannon { A Mom's Year } Tue, 19 Mar 2013 22:44:31 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446088 I think the nuance here is whether the “busyness” is stuff you want to do or stuff you think you HAVE to do. Which are two completely different things. I love to be busy, but the stuff I like to do isn’t necessarily what the world, or my community, thinks is important.

A busy day of being with my family knitting, playing guitar, getting my house in order, ice-skating, baking, reading, watching a movie? Bliss. A day of running around doing things I don’t love–often away from my family–out of a sense of guilt? Not so blissful. :)

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By: Shannon { A Mom's Year } http://www.designmom.com/2013/03/on-being-busy/comment-page-1/#comment-446086 Shannon { A Mom's Year } Tue, 19 Mar 2013 22:37:25 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=33090#comment-446086 You do ask the good questions, Miss Amy. My volunteer efforts usually (selfishly) involve something I love, like helping at the book fair or Battle of the Books or reading with kids. And if our kids are in an activity, we try to coach or bring treats or whatever and not expect other people to be completely responsible for our kids.

I whole-heartedly believe that “to whom much is given much is expected,” but I do wonder sometimes if these people I see serving on endless committees understand how quickly this time with children passes.

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