Hidden Secrets

February 18, 2013

By Gabrielle. Pantry portal by Robbie Caponetto and Roger Foley.

One of my favorite things about being married is having someone with whom I can share all my secrets. Uncensored and without judgement. I usually spill them all to Ben Blair just before we fall asleep! But according to Where the Bonbons Are Buried, couples secret things away from their partners all the time, from a lovely stash of chocolate to large chunks of personal hopes and dreams. Or worse.

The need to hide something is human nature. I get it. I’ve been known to hide presents for my kids in plain sight, almost; it’s amazing what you don’t see when you’re not looking! And I’ve been guilty of hiding extra-special treats — in my case, it’s usually a bag of pear jelly bellys — which are best eaten after an important late-night call to the West Coast. But old love letters or dark secrets? I’m afraid I’m not that…interesting!

I’d love to hear what you’re hiding from your mate and kids, if anything. And if you are hiding, what’s your favorite secret spot? Have your kids ever found your hideaways?

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{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Abbey February 18, 2013 at 10:25 am

Ha! With you on the special treats! Chocolate in my case. But I like to think I’m getting better at sharing…

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2 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:01 pm

You would think with 6 kids I would have mastered sharing by now, but I still end up squirreling away favorite treats. Sigh.

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3 Shannon { A Mom's Year } February 18, 2013 at 10:32 am

Chocolate. :)

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4 Joy @ OSS February 18, 2013 at 10:43 am

sorry im just distracted by the great interiors of the space

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5 Tasha February 18, 2013 at 10:49 am

Wow, funny! If we’re keeping it on the chocolate and goodies level, then I don’t hide anything! We all share here and I am sure to buy extra so I ensure my getting some lol!
This reminds me of the old Bapci’s (grandmas – and grandpas too I suppose) who all hid money in socks, under mattresses and who knows where else. My mother, in fact, had some stash in an envelope. I, being the last child home, was privy to this info. and was offered to it when needed. I maybe used it twice to order a pizza, but felt great being in the know!!! I don’t hide much these days. I used to stash a twenty dollar bill deep in my wallet and loved finding it when cleaning out for a new one…a great surprise…another pizza LOL!
Okay – I remembered something! But now it’s open policy – any money found when I do the laundry is mine!!! Love that absent-minded, too-involved-in work, fast-paced hubbie some days even more ♥

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6 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:02 pm

I like your idea of hiding money deep in your own wallet. What a nice surprise to find later!

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7 heather February 18, 2013 at 10:49 am

Online S H O P P I N G!

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8 Melissa@Julia's Bookbag February 18, 2013 at 10:51 am

OH this is very timely for me! I am the worst gift hider ever. I leave bags out in plain sight and also have about 6 hiding spots, all of which my daughter has found. But the worst part is that even though she seems to find my hiding spots all the time, I hide things and then can’t remember where I’ve hidden them! I lost all of my daughter’s party favors the day before her birthday, cried a lot, and then found them eventually, after causing myself a lot of stress. My husband keeps telling me I need ONE location for gifts, just one. I’ve hidden and lost gifts, only to find them a year later. It’s a problem.

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9 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:03 pm

Oh. That was totally me in December. I thought I had lost my mind! I tried some new hiding spots and then couldn’t remember them. Ugh!

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10 Cherri Porter February 18, 2013 at 11:17 am

For years I’d been hiding food in my desk drawer–stuff I knew my husband and son would devour but that I wanted to save or have to savor.

That ended yesterday when I opened my drawer to hundreds of ants. Sigh.

Secrets never last long.

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11 Pamela Balabuszko-Reay February 18, 2013 at 11:37 am

Oh goodness.

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12 Pamela Balabuszko-Reay February 18, 2013 at 11:37 am

Just yesterday I was looking for a pair of boots in my closet and found the hidden bag of geodes I had gotten my daughter for Christmas. Could not find them anywhere at the time. I was cursing my hiding spots and decided that yes, they all should be put in “The Spider Room” right away. There is a room in our basement that we have scared the kids to death about (because it is “full of spiders and dead mice”). We hide all of their Christmas and Birthday gifts in the Spider Room.

I hide all Valentine and Birthday cards in my bra drawer. Every time. They have never been found.

As for chocolate…I hide it in plain sight. My husband is allergic to it. My kids don’t like the very dark chocolate that I keep around. I’d have to actually hide the other stuff.

Dark secrets… the painful years of growing up and learning life’s lessons. Mistakes, embarrassments and drama? I hope they are hidden in the distant past. They made me who I am, but no one needs to see them in the lens of NOW.

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13 Tasha February 19, 2013 at 9:29 am

Love your final thoughts – agreed :)

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14 Nicole February 19, 2013 at 9:59 am

Hah! I have also terrified my kids about the spiders and wasps nests in the attic, so I could hide presents in there. It slightly backfired when it was time to split the kids up from their shared room and neither would take the spare bedroom next to the scary attic….

My one useful Christmas hiding trick: I put all the stock stuffers in their easter baskets or Halloween pumpkins. They sit high on an attic shelf & never get looked at off-holiday. It is an easy way to keep the goodies sorted for each child & keep track that the gifts are “fair”, so filling the stockings is quick and easy.

We live in an old house with lost of odd spaces. Its always hard for me to get rid of old sentimental things, so I’ve taken to stuffing old letters, photos and diaries under floorboards and into pocket door crevices and things. It’s easier to get rid of them thinking that it will make a nice discovery for someone doing a renovation long after we have gone….

Next to our finished basement, we have a huge cavern of an unfinished basement that is Narnia. We have found two pet graves from prior owners and have left our own time capsule.

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15 Damaris Palmer February 19, 2013 at 2:21 pm

I agree with you! Let the past be put away.

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16 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:04 pm

I love your final thoughts, too!

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17 Tricia February 18, 2013 at 12:52 pm

I think the urge to hide something, anything, is very human. Especially when we are entwined with people we love.

I remember reading a short story (in the NYer?) about a wife who went off to the big city every once in a while and did prosaic things–shopping, drinking coffee–while telling her husband she was doing some other prosaic thing (working, I think). And, while I don’t remember any details about it, I do remember understanding, deeply, the need to have some private space and time, even if you’re not doing anything that your family or spouse would disapprove of.

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18 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:04 pm

I would love to read that story. I can totally picture it.

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19 chelsea February 18, 2013 at 1:16 pm

Cadbury mini eggs from my kids- I want them all to myself! Clothes in my closet until a few weeks after the purchase;) “Oh babe, I’ve had this top for a while now”. bwahahaha.

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20 Cathi February 18, 2013 at 1:19 pm

I’m an open book. Probably to a fault. I’m a firm believer that hiding and keeping secrets from husbands/wives will erode the trust that is necessary in marriage. I, as you, relish the moments that my husband and I share it all.
As far as hiding gifts, I usually hide a few so good that I don’t find them for months or years later. Ha!

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21 * February 18, 2013 at 2:05 pm

I’ve already begun stashing Christmas gifts!
There’s little I hide from my husband. But our thoughts are our own. Not always to be shared. You and Ben must have a bounty of emotional trust.

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22 Jenny Lynn February 18, 2013 at 2:42 pm

There is no way I can hide treats at my house. They are always found. I am an open book to my husband and so, no secrets there. But, when it comes to friends and co-workers….no one knows that I am a blogger and going to school to be a Interior Decorator. So, sssshhh…don’t tell anyone about my double life. And that is what it feels like at times. :)

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23 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:06 pm

Your double life sounds mysterious and exciting!

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24 Angela February 18, 2013 at 3:22 pm

I love little secrets…as an introvert and a generally private person, it’s my way of having a little cushion around me at times. I like to leave the house without saying where I’ll be (giveaway: it’s almost always Target) and I need things in my life that no one else knows. (Even silly things like what I had for lunch.)

I personally like a little mystery, even with a boyfriend I love and feel very intimate with. Our grandparents’ generation didn’t tell their spouses and partners EVERYTHING…and some of that’s for the best, I think. It’s fun to be able to share the things that matter to you, but even more fun to think there are little bits of a partner hidden away like treasures to be found. You can know a person a lifetime and still not know everything about them, and I like that.

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25 Chelly February 19, 2013 at 6:36 am

I wish there was a ‘Like’ button on blog comments!

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26 Tasha February 19, 2013 at 9:31 am

Intersting:)

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27 Hannah Q February 18, 2013 at 3:31 pm

My husband love the Valentine’s sweethearts candy, so I stock up and then hide them from him. That way I can bring out a box every now and then to surprise him!

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28 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:07 pm

So thoughtful!

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29 The Girls' Guide to Guns and Butter February 18, 2013 at 5:41 pm

I can’t get over this hidden pantry!

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30 Grace @ sense and simplicity February 18, 2013 at 7:18 pm

I hide chocolate when I’m at home and the fact that I’m a blogger when I’m at work. Works for me!

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31 Jenny also February 18, 2013 at 8:15 pm

I hide my Words With Friends habit. I play way too much.

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32 Lauren February 18, 2013 at 8:57 pm

Growing up in a large family, the treats always disappeared quickly. To make my share last longer, I’d always hide stuff… in the pantry. I’d pick a box of something no one was eating. The fiber cereal. The weird crackers. And I’d hide a Ziploc bag of Oreos or a handful of Hershey’s kisses in the bottom.

Worked for years before my mom found me out… :)

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33 Amy Hackworth February 18, 2013 at 9:48 pm

Lauren, I’m totally going to do this with some chocolate I’m not all that interested in sharing with the family. Thanks for the tip!

Maybe I should just share…?

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34 Lauren February 20, 2013 at 3:35 pm

Every Mom needs a chocolate stash that she doesn’t have to share!

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35 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:08 pm

That’s hilarious, Lauren!

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36 amber February 18, 2013 at 9:55 pm
37 Alex February 19, 2013 at 1:57 am

Such funny comments here! My husband has a knack for finding anything that I try to hide, until I came up with the idea of hiding things in the bottom of HIS underwear drawer. Works like a charm!

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38 Carol F. February 19, 2013 at 7:49 pm

Ha!!

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39 Brandy @ The Prudent Homemaker February 21, 2013 at 11:45 am

So funny!

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40 Shennon February 19, 2013 at 7:04 am

I had a chocolate stash above the built in microwave. The microwave died, and my hubby got on line and figured out how to put in a new one. I was so pleased. Until I went looking for my stash. Missing? HA HA. So I go to my hubby, “Ok I’ve been caught. Very funny. Where did you hide my hidden chocolate?” The response nearly killed me. “What? That wasn’t just old forgotten chocolate? I threw it out.” I am not certain on what planet or whom my husband has been living with. Pretty certain forgotten chocolate doesn’t exists on this one.

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41 Maria Baker February 19, 2013 at 7:44 am

We pretty much share everything, the hubs and I. BUT, I am the master of hiding presents in plain site. I’ve found that trying to “hide” them makes people look in all the nooks and crannies, but just putting someplace they “see” over and over and they glaze right over it as always and never see what’s right in front of their eyes. It’s the best.

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42 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:09 pm

I totally need to figure out how to do that!

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43 Anabel February 19, 2013 at 11:57 am

This is such an interesting post. My husband and I have gotten into arguments about this very subject. Although I share everything real with him, I keep a journal of hopes and wishes and fantasy that I don’t want him to see. He thinks he should be able to read it. But, while none of the stuff would be harmful to our marriage, I find that some things I write I’m not ready to share and would embarrass me for him to read… like what I would do if I won the lottery, etc. In the end he seems to understand, but sometimes I still catch him reading over my shoulder with a smirk on his face.

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44 the emily February 19, 2013 at 7:10 pm

I hide nothing but my husband won’t let me read his journal from his mission and it drives me CRAZY.

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45 Design Mom February 20, 2013 at 2:08 pm

That would drive me crazy too.

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46 Barchbo February 26, 2013 at 5:44 am

I’m not much for hiding anything. I have always wanted to be more mysterious…

The only things I hide are other people’s confidences. I’m not one for chocolate and my kids are too little to eat my treats. :)

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