Design Mom Asks: Remembering You

June 14, 2012

If you could be remembered for just one thing, what would you hope that one thing would be? I ask myself this all the time, especially during those moments when my sense of balance feels a little askew. It’s one of those thoughtful asks that makes you think and think and think some more, isn’t it? And it can seriously shift a to-do list, placing “Talk movies with Ralph” and “Take a walk with Olive” before anything work-related! Luckily for me, a few new friends agreed to think and think and think some more, getting this week’s conversation sparked so meaningfully. Enjoy their answers, please, and start thinking of your own!

Jasmine of Gift Wrapsody:
I would hope to be remembered as someone who wasn’t afraid to be true to myself. For me, that means being comfortable in my own skin, not being scared to keep trying new things (and failing), or sometimes simply swimming against the currents.

Bernadette of Barefoot Hippie Girl:
If I could be remembered for just one thing, I’d hope that it would be that I was a woman of God. Like, if that was what was written on my tombstone, “She was a woman of God” that would be amazing. Oh, and that “she made the best peanut butter pie.”

M.J. of Pars Caeli:
I hope to be remembered as a disproportionate, exorbitant giver of love and an unobstructed, dazzling mirror of the beauty my three children and my husband have revealed to me, offering every person I bump into in life, a little brighter frame of reference.

Chedva of Rooms and Words:
As a kid, one of my biggest fears was to not be remembered after I’m gone (yeah, I was a bit morbid). I decided I have to be a great author so that everyone remembers my name. Fast forward to today, I’ve had my name published in books (as a fiction translator) and in magazines (as a design journalist), but what I really want is to be remembered lovingly by my family, and especially my son, for being a good mother.

Jennifer of Me Mama Me Mima:
I would hope to be remembered for really paying attention. It’s a habit I am still trying to cultivate — listening hard for the telling detail; sensing fear and frustration when they are still just wisps and not yet thick fogs; knowing how to tell a happy smile from a nervous smile from a proud smile from a sly smile. My mom is an expert at noticing when a silly little thing is actually a great big deal. And so often, as I recall, that’s what saved the day. I aspire to a reputation for such attentiveness.

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This was so lovely. Thank you, ladies, for chatting with us! I honestly related to each answer. “She made the best peanut butter pie” made me smile. And Jennifer, your mom sounds pretty wonderful. Paying attention to someone else is pure love, isn’t it?

Friends, have you thought about your own answers? I’m wondering if your to-do list today just got rearranged!

Photo by Hilda Randulv on Flickr.

P.S. — You can catch all of our Design Mom Asks conversations right here. If you’d like to participate in the next one, drop me a note. I’d love to hear from you!

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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Chedva June 14, 2012 at 7:42 am

I loved reading all the answers, and thanks for posting mine!

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2 Mills June 14, 2012 at 8:16 am

Such a great question to ponder. And all wonderful answers! “Offering every person I bump into in life, a little brighter frame of reference” really speaks to me.

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3 MJ @ parscaeli June 14, 2012 at 7:39 pm

:) thanks, lady! I appreciate your words…glad you appreciate mine, too. MJ @parscaeli

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4 Lauren June 14, 2012 at 9:01 am

Oh, this was just what I needed today! Such beautiful answers!
I think, more than anything else, I would like to be remembered as being kind. Because, whatever else I haven’t gotten right in this life (and I know there will be many things), kindness covers a multitude of sins. I am willing to forgive almost anything from people who I know are characteristically kind.

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5 Lisa June 15, 2012 at 6:09 am

I was thinking the same thing Lauren, but you said it much better, thank you!

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6 aubry June 14, 2012 at 9:21 am

i want to be the girl that successfully juggles a million things for a million people into my schedule without letting anyone down – without appearing as the idyllic stepford wife… but because that’s the kind of girl that i am and it’s innate to my character to serve the people around me. because it’s second nature. i want every person in my life to feel like they’re the most important person in the world and they’ve got my undivided attention and can lean on me at any time for anything… for the aptly timed phone call, for a ride when the fix-it shop says they’ll take just a little too long to wait in the lobby, a dinner delivery when you’re down, my opinion when asked, help planning a party, someone to babysit your kids, a crafty favor here or there, yada. i want my people to feel like they’re at the top of my list and they’re not sharing that spot with anyone else.

there’s a fishes and loaves miracle that goes along with this mentality. tried and true – take my word for it. when i give, the capacity to give grows.

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7 Mary June 14, 2012 at 9:30 am

Beautiful question to ponder, and wonderful answers. You’ve got me thinking…

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8 Regina June 14, 2012 at 9:53 am

I love it when people open their hearts and express their true hopes and dreams. What a gift!
I hope to be remembered as someone who saw the true worth of every person, including myself.

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9 Sarah June 14, 2012 at 10:43 am

Wow, this really made me think. As I begin to embark on my journey of starting a family, the last one really spoke to me. Thanks for this, Gabby.

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10 MJ @ parscaeli June 14, 2012 at 11:02 am

What wonderful responses (and comments) to this gigantic question. Thanks for overwhelming me with it. I needed that. And I so appreciate you publishing my response!

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11 Sarah Lemoine @ W.D. Wolf June 14, 2012 at 11:16 am

Oh my! I kid you not- last night at midnight I couldn’t shake the feeling that I haven’t been ENOUGH for my kids since summer started… distracted, working all of the time, getting easily annoyed… I texted myself a “to-do list” to be read today:

(1) pay attention when Jack asks me to watch him win at his Wii game (even though it isn’t my idea of “success”, it is important to him!)
(2) Hold Lily when she asks me to (and when she doesn’t) even though she’s 7 and heavy. Next year, she may not be asking anymore.
(3) Encourage Abram when he’s obedient (don’t place so much emphasis on his disobedience. He thrives when praised and kids become what you TELL them they are.
(4) Be FULLY engaged for atleast 1 hour a day (no work, no phone, no computer, no iPad).

I needed to read this today! Thanks! XOXO

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12 Molly W. June 14, 2012 at 11:49 am

I hope that mine would be that I loved Jesus no matter what, and that it was evident by all who knew me.

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13 Natalie June 14, 2012 at 11:57 am

I would like to be remembered as taking time for anyone and everyone who needed it. Whether it be my family or friends or even the homeless guy on the corner who just needs a hug. I want people to remember me as knowing that human interaction and love is more important than books, computers, and chores.

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14 Sandra June 14, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Choking up just thinking about this question… Funny how things change, or at least for me, when you get older! When I was younger I would have thought about legacies in terms of career and external achievements. I think going through infertility AND having been around the block a few times has made that change.

I want to be remembered by my daughter as the best mom that she could ever have hoped for. I want to be remembered by my husband as the wife for him. And for my close friends, I want to be remembered as a friend who cared and made time for them.

When you’re 80 and looking back, not much else matters, eh?

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15 Sarah June 14, 2012 at 12:54 pm

My foremost hope is that my husband and daughter would remember me as being loving to them and encouraging of their dreams.

I also hope to be thought of as someone who was open to life experiences. The most interesting and gracious people I have met have been those who never stop learning and growing.

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16 Sharon Fischel June 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I’ve been thinking about this frequently lately. A dear friend of mine who was only 44 (a year older than me) died this past January of breast cancer. Her son is 9.
I want to be remembered as someone who valued unconditional love above all. I am a loving person and it brings me such joy to show those around me how much I care about them. Every day, I make it a point to tell my kids something that I like about them. I love buying little gifts ‘just because’ for a friend who needs a pick-me-up. Feeling useful to people who I love is the best thing in the world. Even when people make mistakes, including big ones, I keep in mind that no one is just ‘one’ thing, one mistake, one hurtful word. Above all, treat everyone with same level of respect. I hope that’s the legacy I teach my children.

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17 Mimi Finerty June 14, 2012 at 2:03 pm

beautiful post!!

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18 Corinne June 14, 2012 at 2:31 pm

I love this post. I was thinking– I’d like to be remembered as someone who was kind, noticing people who normally go unnoticed or uncared for. I’d like for people to remember that I always tried to put people first, especially my children, even if that meant sacrificing some things.

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19 Jen Daily June 14, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Such a good question. The more I think about it, the less I think I care about being remembered for any one thing in particular. If I am able to nurture my family and friends in a way that is true to me, and they are able to look back on our time together with joy and love, then that will be enough.

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20 Julie June 14, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Everyone has said some lovely things, and I too want to be remembered for kindness, generosity, acceptance, adventure, but above all I want to be remembered as funny! as someone who could see the humor in a day, or a situation, and who made her family and friends laugh, not in a tv sitcom, bestseller, comedy tour kinda way, just in an everyday way.

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21 Lexy @ The Proper Pinwheel June 15, 2012 at 1:33 pm

What a great question! I hope to be remembered as a kind and loving person that tried to make those I come in contact with as happy and comfortable as possible! In a nutshell. ;)

Shared over on Fresh Find Friday. Everyone needs to think about this.

http://theproperpinwheel.com/2012/06/fresh-find-friday-39/

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22 Erin June 15, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I love this question and the comments – I can make a connection with many of them. I want to be remembered as someone who invested in others – my husband and children, my students, my friends, my community. I want others to say: “She listened, and she believed in me!” and maybe: “When she said she would pray for me, she did it.”

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23 Barefoot Hippie Girl June 17, 2012 at 10:21 am

Thanks for letting me participate in the question and answer.=) I loved reading all the answers and the posts. We all do want to be remembered for something. Great question. Great reflection.

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