Once upon a time, there lived a world full of thoughts and precious bits of wisdom that weren’t tweeted, blogged, or even shared on Facebook. Can you imagine? This was also the time when dialing up your friends was rigorous rotary exercise for your index finger, an instant photo involved a little shaking, and all books were made of paper!
I miss those days sometimes, don’t you? The creative minds behind OldSchooled did, too, so they created a space to collect the wisdom of our elders for those children who don’t have grandparents to tell them story after story about life, love, and happiness. I think that’s one of the loveliest reasons for a website I’ve ever heard. These wise words rang especially true for me, and these might make Ralph enjoy his French lessons even more!
Will you tell me the most valuable advice you’ve ever received from an older relative, or any other old-school gem that’s worth repeating? I can’t wait to hear them all!
P.S. The OldSchooled online project ended on December 15, 2011, but the content was recently transformed into a coloring book available for sharing here! For continued updates, follow them on Facebook.
Hands found via Mackin Ink.
{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }
I recently read an article about Chelsea Clinton and her best advice from her grandmother was ‘Life is not about what happens to you, but about what you do with what happens to you.’ Smart lady.
This is just beautiful. I wish I remembered some pearls of wisdom from my grandparents. They all died when I was quite young, but I think I’m left with an impression of overcoming adversity. None of them had easy lives, and my grandfathers, arguably were not happy men, but they lived their lives on their own terms, for better or worse. They all strived for something better for their families. I think I’ve learned from their histories and hardships that it’s important to recognize reality even in its most unpleasant form, learn from it, and try to rise above it with all your might.
Thanks for sharing this and for helping me start my day on a contemplative note.
All the best,
Erin
“I’ve noticed in my life, that if you find that you are talking yourself into something…it probably isn’t a good idea, but if you find that you talking yourself out of doing something…you’re probably just scared.” -advice given to me from my grandfather, after I asked him if I should marry my boyfriend. Ironically, we are celebrating 19 years of marriage today. It was good advice, and I use it all the time.
Beautiful picture! My advice from an elder was not actually advice, but acknowledgement of a musical talent that I was afraid to own myself. My great aunt Ruth was a remarkable woman…one of those people who made you feel like the only person in the world when you were with her. She was PRESENT at every moment of her life. When I was very young, my cousin Kathy and I were visiting her, and she had a few little gifts to give us. One was a little wooden angel band of musicians. Aunt Ruth said “these are for the musician in the family”. I thought she meant Kathy because she played the piano, and I did not. Aunt Ruth said “no, Rebecca, these are for you, you are such a wonderful singer!” No one had ever said that to me, although I sang all the time. Many many many years later, on the day we buried her, I left her funeral to do my last audition at the Metropolitan Opera. I was hired that day, and have been singing there ever since. If it were not for my GREAT Aunt Ruth, I would never have followed my talent and desire. I still have those little wooden angels, and bring them out every year where they have pride of place on my mantlepiece.
What a beautiful story!!
WOW.
Very nice story! I was touched!
My grandmother planned out what she would wear the next day every night before bed. While laying out her clothes, she planned one fun activity for the next day. It could be a pedicure at home or a trip to the bookstore to buy a new book or a drive down to the beach. This way, she said, she wouldn’t forget to be good to herself.
this is really cool. we live 20 hours from grandparents. I picked a preschool led by women in their 60s because I want my kids to have interaction with older people. And I’ve learned a few things too…probably the biggest thing I’ve learned from his teachers is to RELAX and enjoy my family.
From my Grandfather. We used to sit at eat breakfast together when no one else was up. He’d play solitaire while eating breakfast, and gave me a life long love of anything you can do with a deck of cards. The teaching moment I remember best – “Only a fool cheats at solitaire.”
It sounds curt, but has been a metaphor for me for many, many times in my life.
A lot of my best advice came from my mom who got it from her Aunt Agnes but my fave is:
“Learn from other people’s mistakes – you don’t have time to make them all on your own.”
My grandmother (89 years old) just gave me a great piece of advice two weeks ago: “Make younger friends. You want people to keep you young when you’re pushing 90.” It made me laugh.
This is by no means profound, but my little brother liked to play peter pan, and he had a little butter knife he would carry around in the elastic of his pants. My grandpa used to tell him. “don’t put that knife down your pants, you will cut your winkie off and then you will be a girl.” I always thought that was funny.
My great-aunt told me, when I was overwhelmed with infants and toddlers and grade schoolers (I have 4 kids and… when they were all so young, it was hard to get… well – anything! done – you know what I mean :) that, even on the most trying of days to remember to have the time of my life with my little ones :).
My grandmother recently has been telling me over and over, “Listen to your heart. You know what is best for you.” when it comes to difficult decisions. She just turned 89 and her favorite thing to do is to have all of her family over for dinner! She is known for making large dinners of meatloaf and lasagna, not to forget the cookies, pies, and cakes. She has a recipe in her mother’s handwriting for rice pudding. It’s amazing the treasures you can find her kitchen! Plus, it’s the best place to ask for advice.
I love reading in my great-great-great-Aunt’s life story about when her mother told her she was getting married. She had made her mom promise that she wouldn’t give her boyfriend permission to marry her until after she’d received an education, and this is from her own account: “‘No, Mother, no–I am too young,’ and I began to cry. ‘I want to get an education,’ I sobbed. They were both first-class salesman for I was married January 4, 1894. I ‘ll be honest. I won’t say that I never regretted my marriage when I was so young, for I did regret it. When I…saw what an education really meant, I wept my pillow wet many nights. My advice to all my blessed granddaughters and grandsons is this: Don’t be in a hurry to marry. You’ll have all time (and Eternity!) to be married but only a few years to get an education and prepare yourselves for your life’s work. You can accomplish so much more for yourselves and for Our Heavenly Father if you are well educated and understand about things both past and present, the sciences, etc., and the blessed Gospel.”
I got married before I finished my education but luckily had an awesome husband who waited to go to graduate school so I could finish my bachelor’s degree. At the time I didn’t really think it was that important but now I am so glad that I finished before I had kids and life got, well, hard.
i love this. just such the anthesis of twitter et al.
really, really lovely…
Thanks for this. What a wonderful way to start the morning.
I can still hear my mom & grandmother saying, “Pretty is, as pretty does.” In my life I’ve found it’s true that the most beautiful people are those who are generous, kind, and true to themselves.
Always write a thank you note. Not an email or text… an actual hand written note. Who doesn’t love getting a lovely letter in the mail?!
“Don’t be afraid to sing in the car.” I know that sounds silly, but when I was younger I was obsessed with what others thought of me. I didn’t want to look stupid or seem strange. My grandma, through her wise years, helped me to become who I am–or at least, who I’m working to be–a person who is comfortable enough in her own skin to be who I want to be, not what others expect. I am fortunate to have saved all the emails she wrote me while I was away in college. It has been 8 1/2 years since she passed away and I am constantly reminded how blessed I am to have had her in my life.
I absolutely cherish the time that I have had, and still am fortunate to have with my grandmother. I am told so often, how much others miss their grandparents, and it always serves as a reminder of how lucky I am to have mine.
Such a beautiful, ingenious idea.
“You make your own luck.” So, so true.
A few months before she died, my grandmother and I were alone in her kitchen (a VERY rare occurrence because I have 19 cousins and someone else was always around!) and she looked right at me and said, “It will not be a tragedy when your grandfather and I die. We have lived long and full lives.” I have always believed in heaven but this really crystallized for me that death isn’t necessarily a tragedy. While I still miss both of them greatly, her words gave me such a strong sense of peace, and have helped me deal well when other loved ones have died.
A family friend gave me a key ring for High School graduation and said, “With each key comes more and more responsibility – I hope you add keys slowly and with thoughtfulness.”
It stuck with me and I now realize 15+ years later that I always feel more carefree when I don’t have a lot of keys to keep track of.
From my Nanny- “Don’t expect what you don’t inspect”. That little gem has saved so much hassle with my kiddos.
My grandfather is 95 and still golfs three days a week. He says “there is no sense in worrying because you always end up worrying about the wrong things anyway. Just enjoy life.” I love it!
95! This reminds me of my Grandfather who used to say, ‘walk somewhere every day’. He lived to a great old age, and was fit and active till the end. I think it’s great advice, as was your grandfather’s, Moriah.
One of the most valuable things I learned from my grandmother is the importance of a thank you. A hand written note is the best and after every Birthday and Christmas, my son and I sit down and do this. He, being 14 now, thinks it is torture, but I hope one day he will value it. I send cards and notes all the time. I like it, I am assuming my recipients do. It is a lost art.
Love this concept! Truly thought-provoking. My favorite piece of advice was given to me by grandfather. Simple words, but words I live by in my own life, in my job and in relationships.
Work Hard. Always Think Smart. Be Nice to People.
This one didn’t come from my blood grandparents, but rather a senior colleague who took on the role of mentor – “Be sure to take time for yourself and your husband. You will find that doing so pays bigger dividends than working all of the time.”. He was the largest figure in my field and so this served as an important statement about work-life balance. He passed away last year but I still hear his gentle reminders echoing.
Darling–your link to Mackin Ink brings a 404. I, for one, want to know who made the awesome image.
Oh dear. Sorry about that! All fixed now.
I’m gonna go with ‘This too shall pass’. It’s an old one, but a good one.
a dear friend in high school said this to me over and over during dramatic times while my parents were divorcing. it ALWAYS brought me a sense of peace. as life moved on, and bigger/badder drama presented itself, I have found myself repeating “This too shall pass” inside my thoughts. it still has the power to bring peace. and i hadn’t even thought of it til reading your post. thank you for that, as i happen to need it this morning.
A blogger or 4 blogs, owner of 3 businesses (currently) a baby boomer and modern grandma, I am SO happy to see this tribute to the wisdom of our elders, yours, mine, and ours collectively. This is truly so lovely. I love the site! I know I have an arsenal of cliches that come out as needed, but the one just above my response “This too shall pass” is also one of my favorites. And, “that which doesn’t kill you builds character” is one I love too! Thank you for sharing this site!
I will check this out and I just adore this photo. I remember watching my toddler son study his great grandmother’s hands and touching them so carefully as though they were this delicate object. This reminded me of that moment. Thank you.
From my Grandpa Odie “never let your mouth write a check that your body can’t cash. And from my mom “never let your kids know that you can hear everything they say in the backseat when you’re carpooling their friends. You get your best intel that way.”
from my grandfather, “you are only gifted one body, it’s your responsiblity to keep it healthy and take care of it because no one can replace it for you” and from my grandmother, “everything looks better in a silver bowl”
Beautiful!! We can all use words of wisdom and experience from grandparents. What a great site.
One of my great-grandfather’s pieces of advice, “Only keep 1 pocketbook.”
At my bridal shower, all of my aunts, grandmothers and older family friends gave me advice about marriage and building a lasting love. My favorite snippet of wisdom came from my grandmother. She said “many times in your marriage, your husband will be rushing out the door. Make sure he stops to give you a kiss…so you can make sure his pants are zipped. He’ll be grateful you’ve saved him in more ways than one!”
Career etc. is important but it’s FAMILY that really matters.
What a precious image you have used – BEAUTIFUL.
Love this post — it instantly made me think of my grandma. When I was a young girl facing all the “drama” of middle and high school, she told me, “All you really need is ONE good friend. That’s all any girl needs to be okay, really.” So true.
What a coincidence – I just happened to post about my Grandmother today! I remember one thing she used to say was that a baby is always good news (no mater what the circumstance)!
Whenever we walk out her door, Grandma says, “Be sweet.” At meals she always wants to know, “Does it taste good to you?” She’s such a darling.
And Granddad’s full of gems like:
“Grandpas are spoof-proof.”
“You’ve got garments and ancestors on your back.” [To much disbelief.]
“I’m off like a dirty shirt.”
“You know why it’s so cold out? Because of the temperature.”
It KILLS me we’re so far away, my daughter hardly ever gets to see them!
Very cool website, thanks for sharing! I grew up as one of four children and whenever we would open our mouth to blame or complain about a sibling my Dad would say “if you are pointing a finger remember there are three pointing back at you”…this would usually stop us in our tracks and make us reconsider our part/role in the coflict. A great analogy I thought.
Probably… ‘It’s okay not to repay a debt right away, but always let the debt holder know you’ve got the debt on your mind.” Obviously, it doesn’t work (or often doesn’t) for mortgage debt or consumer debt… it was more about when you owe someone in your life something.
Hi, Totally off topic, but just saw you on House Hunters International. Your home is beautiful. So nice to see what you have described in detail on your blog. You have beautiful children. What a happy family. So glad i found your blog.
Have a nice evening,
Margherita Ciarlelli
My favorite piece of advice from my grandmother is that “everyone is always doing their best, even if it’s not very good.” I take it two ways. One is to forgive myself and others for shortcomings, because we are always putting in our best effort. If we could put in more effort, we would. The second is to stop making excuses by telling myself that I COULD do better if I really tried. No, sorry, that was your best. If you CAN do better, then do it.
Her other wonderful line is “give joyfully.” She even writes it on her checks.
My sister commented above (“Grandpa’s are spoof-proof”) but I wanted to add more. Sometimes the greatest wisdom isn’t it what is said, but rather what is unsaid.
Granma and Grampa both have a beautiful way of not saying mean things about anyone, ever–even if they really deserve it. The only way to recognize a Person About Whom Much More Could Be Said is by the mildly colorful descriptor “ornery.” (As in, “Your cousin sure can be ornery.”) This delightful atmosphere of non-gossip adds an immeasurable depth of trust and security within our family, and I hope to pass that on to my kids as well.
My 98 year old forever friend has told me repeatedly, that “Old heads are not borne on young bodies.” That wisdom helped me deal with my children as they grew up, and occasionally made decisions that were not in their best interest.
I’ve filled pages with things my grandparents told us as we were growing. Right now, the first that springs to mind is from my Granny. She always told us to “Act like you’ve been somewhere,” meaning that we should always behave politely and mannerly. I say it to my three children regularly. :)
On finance:
One of my favorite neighbors Jim Ford said, ” Stay poor.” Appropriate for the life we live in- especially in the states where we have become rather self-indulgent and find ourselves in financial trouble because of it.
That is one of the most moving and beautiful photographs EVER.
from my mother-in-law, a very wise woman indeed:
“Don’t go looking for trouble, let trouble come looking for you.” and
“Worry is like paying a toll on a bridge you may not have to cross.”
I often think of my grandparents and their paitence, rather than advice. There is a song (in Hebrew) that the singer wrote about her own parents that is the closeset thing I have found do far to describing their care and attention, and how I miss it sorely:
And on Saturday morning there isn’t anyone to call
and tell them how the show went
And dad won’t be asking “was there an audience”
and mom won’t say “you sound tired”
it ends with these lines:
So many people, so may ears
but there is no one to sing to
you always sing for just the two
and when these two are gone
you sing to the heavens.
I have sung this on my granparents memorial service, and I cry everytime I hear it on the radio. Even now.
Wow! Thank you for passing this website along. I operate a nursing facility and the people I am charged with taking care of fill my life up!! I will pass on to my team!!
Some words of my mother that I’ve thought about often are: “Funerals are
never convenient, but they are always important.”
I appreciate my sweet mother’s never ignoring the accomplishments and good deeds of others and constantly expressing appreciation in words both written and spoken.
This is a lovely site, thanks for the tip. I can’t wait to look through it some more. Here are the words of wisdom that always stand out in my mind.
“Don’t worry until you have to.” My mother
“You are the best of the best.” My father
“You weren’t born in a barn.” My grandmother
Oh my gosh, do I remember those days! They are in my not so distant past; at least in my heart and mind. I love this photo, and the link you sent is wonderful. I hope young people look at it. Thank you for sharing.
julie
I am commenting so that I can continue to get all the lovely advice from the people in your life. I am touched by the comments and am taking notes to help me and my kids and husband.
Recently I started reading a brand-new book on these same lines. This book has already rocked my life and made it so much better: 30 Lessons for Living : Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans (http://www.amazon.com/30-Lessons-Living-Advice-Americans/dp/1594630844). I am not affiliated with the book! Just passing on the link since we are already interested in the topic.
Thank you, Gabrielle, for starting these amazing discussions.
This post is wonderful, but it makes me miss my grandmothers and dad so much. Wish I could remember more of their advice…
My mom’s mother always said, “You’re laughing now, but you’ll be crying later,” whenever my baby cousin and I had the giggles and were being rambunctious. She was right on the money. She also told my mom, “Once you start coloring your hair you never go back.” So thanks to her I have completely untouched, healthy shiny hair.
Thank you for this post! Encouraged me to write more of these things down before I forget them!
Not exactly from an ‘elderly’ elder, but several years ago my mum said to me and my sister “If anyone ever asks you what you learned from your mother, you can tell them that I always said ‘Never go up the stairs empty handed”. It was hilarious because she’d never actually said that before and we quote it back to her all the time now as a joke, but I always think of it – and it’s good advice! I always have something that needs to be upstairs and if I’m going up anyways; why not kill two birds?
When my grandfather was about to pass away, i asked him what his best piece of advice was. He said, “Play ‘em as they come.” He was an avid bridge player his entire adult life. At the time, i felt his advice should have sounded more “deep”, but i now see that it really was some of the best advice i ever received. You can only choose to handle what life gives you–not to choose what life gives you. Play your hand to the best of your ability. Learn some strategy and listen to the wisdom of the greats. Don’t bet it all unless you’re willing to lose it all. Bet it all when you know that winning is “do or die”. Fold ‘em when you know you have a losing hand–or if u can’t afford to lose any more. Every once in a while you’ll just plain get lucky. Then you’ll leave the game satisfied and with a wealth that cannot be measured in dollars.
When we would rough house my grandma would always say, “You laugh too much you cry.” And someone always ended up hurt and crying. It’s still rings true with my adult relationships.
My dad constantly said, “not to worry,” whether it was about something in our lives or current events. It’s pretty true: things always work out.
He also said, “Be good” every time we left the house.