Comments on: Ask Design Mom: What to Wear to a German Wedding http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/ The Intersection of Design & Motherhood Mon, 17 Mar 2014 15:41:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Wilona http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-505047 Wilona Wed, 19 Jun 2013 06:42:59 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-505047 A church wedding in Erbach im Rheingau, last weekend in Sept., at One O’clock. Bride(German) is wearing a long wedding dress, groom (American) and etc., are wearing dark suits. I do not know what style the bridesmaid or bride’s mother is wearing. As the mother of the groom what should I wear. I have been looking for something in grey or medium blue. I do not want a short (above the knee) dress. I am thinking tea length, with a light weight jacket. Not too fancy, but I am beginning to think there is no such dress. I understand weddings in Germany are not as big and over the top like they are in the states. I do not want to be over dressed or take away from the bride and her mother. What do you suggest?

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By: lorraine http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-428249 lorraine Tue, 08 Jan 2013 21:40:22 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-428249 I have a wedding in June in Germany I am the mother of the groom what should I wear .

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By: Megan http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-288607 Megan Fri, 05 Aug 2011 17:08:17 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-288607 As your brother marrying into the family, making this an extended part of your family, I’d suggest something personal. What about a book about where you’re from? Or a regional cookbook? Maybe your brother can give you some tips about something they really like. Over the years my mother has brought books about California, a teddy bear made by relatives, champagne glasses, etc. Oh, she also feeds my sister-in-law’s addiction for non-fat Ranch dressing, but other than local honey and jam most US food items these days can be found abroad.

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By: Julie http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-288160 Julie Thu, 04 Aug 2011 21:00:33 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-288160 I’ve never worn a hat to an American wedding, but that may be different in the South or Texas.

For a day wedding, the above advice is appropriate. An evening wedding may be more formal, but I would hope the invitation will let you know that.

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By: Marina http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287986 Marina Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:34:53 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287986 Since I’m from Germany and I’m invited to a wedding in the US i really enjoyed reading this post. Everything you said about dress code on German weddings sounds good to me. Don’t outshine the bride, no white or black, bring heels and flats since a typical german wedding is often selebrated until doom (much dancing). Bring a jacket. No big hair, hats too are unusual. But you don’t really need to blend in, Germans are very open minded when it comes to other cultures, you won’t be judged by your looks :)
But what about a wedding in the US? Is the wedding dress code so different over there? Do I really need a hat?

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By: From Belgium http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287629 From Belgium Thu, 04 Aug 2011 14:14:49 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287629 Actually ‘do not mention the war’ was a reference to Falty Towers, where Basil always tells his staff to ‘not mention the war’ when they have German guest staying at the hotel only to insult them with war-references himself.
Sorry if it offended.

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By: Julia http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287456 Julia Thu, 04 Aug 2011 10:59:32 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287456 Dear Lauren,

I can so relate to your situation. I was invited to a German- English wedding in England. God, I was so nervous! Anyway, you got good ideas. Mine are: a nice summer dress (yes, definitely with a sweater/jacket. The weather’s been dreadful ever since July). If you want to wear heels, do so, but bring flats (I’ve seen so many poor girls who couldn’t walk because their heels sank into the meadow). I wouldn’t wear a hat to a German wedding – but mind you, I’ve seen an aristocratic German wedding where everyone wore hats. I wouldn’t wear white; but in Germany you’re fine with wearing your lbd to a wedding if you like. As it’s a mixed American- German wedding, you won’t be the only American there anyway. And please, please, please: just be yourself! Okay, maybe Americans are a little bit louder, but I’m more than sure people will love to hear you laughing. And don’t worry about wasting food or recycling at a wedding, please! It’s a party! Enjoy YOURSELF, be YOURSELF, wear what YOU like (okay, maybe not the short, extremely cleavaged white rhinstone Versace number) and make a day of it.
What to bring the parent’s of the bride: well, something typically American, I would think. A coffe- table book of American scenery maybe? Maybe including the area you live in? And some typical American sweets?

Anyway, I wish you the best of times at the wedding. Have fun!

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By: leslie http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287451 leslie Thu, 04 Aug 2011 10:40:04 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287451 maybe something to eat?
i know many people being curious about the food someone is usually eating…or a cooking-book? something local is mostly appreciated, i guess…

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By: leslie http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287450 leslie Thu, 04 Aug 2011 10:37:30 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287450 ” do not mention the war”? that’s silly!

my advice: be you. wear what you’re feeling comfortable with and go with layers. as many others said: it might get cold…:)

and i found it very humorous to read all the “german” things…we tend to be open to others and you might be the center of attention at one point, but we can be nice, really;)

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By: Lauren http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287434 Lauren Thu, 04 Aug 2011 05:11:35 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287434 P.S. Gorgeous garden wedding. Thanks for sharing that link. I especially loved the wildflower topiary. Beautiful. And the color palette is so refreshing. I’m in love:)

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By: Lauren http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287433 Lauren Thu, 04 Aug 2011 05:06:44 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287433 Thank You. THANK YOU! I love that you addressed my question Gabrielle. Great advise. Dear readers, I have enjoyed your responses. I was so concerned with how I looked it never even crossed my mind to consider my manners. (That shows just how American I am:) I will be sure to pass on your suggestions. Especially the one about not being so loud. My family can be very loud. And if you are wondering, my American brother is marrying a German girl.

Thanks to your responses I feel more confident already.

Now does anyone have a suggestion of what to bring the bride’s parents from the states? I want a small gift that would be a token of gratitude. It can’t be over the 3 oz. airline limit as I am not checking a bag on the way over. I love everything European so I can’t think of anything that would be cool to bring from the US. Any ideas?

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By: Anne http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287392 Anne Wed, 03 Aug 2011 19:01:15 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287392 I have been to many German weddings. If the invitation does not state anything, anything is fair game.

Do not wear white, nor black, do not outshine the bride (which could happen if the bride goes for a simple style.

A simple summer dress (even a colorful one)would be great, flats or even heels are fine (no flip flops), a cardigan or shawl against the cold, a necklace, some earrings. Not too much makeup.

And last, if in doubt ask the couple or their families if you don’t know them any better.

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By: Julia http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287381 Julia Wed, 03 Aug 2011 18:13:45 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287381 Okay, definitely come as yourself. I’ m thinking maybe a nice Summer dress

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By: The New Diplomats Wife http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287331 The New Diplomats Wife Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:56:11 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287331 You know, I re-read this today and read all the comments and I think most people are right about the thing I absolutely forgot to mention, which is to go as yourself. After all, there are lots of differences across the globe but it’s not “that” different – wear what you’re most comfortable in, but there are definitely “safe” bets (e.g shift dress, no black in daytime, no white at weddings, flats with you as back up) – but remember, you were invited because they want you to be there and that’s what’s most important. Have a great time – I’m sure it will be a fun party!

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By: From Belgium http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287323 From Belgium Wed, 03 Aug 2011 11:43:37 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287323 Look for the type of venue and the type of party. Don’t be shy to ask the bride or groom what they expect of their guests clothes wise.
Be yourself, be polite and whatever you do, do not mention the war.

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By: Lea Sophie http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287319 Lea Sophie Wed, 03 Aug 2011 08:32:09 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287319 I definitely agree with all those who say “be yourself and don’t worry to much about your appearance”.
As a German i can assure you that we care about our look but do not judge others by theirs (hopefully).
but since it’s an outdoor wedding and the weather hasn’t been exactly “summery” over here, take a cardigan, blazer or any other jacket. and i would wear no heels, rather something like ballet flats or oxfords to be more comfortable.
one comment i really like said “no big hair” and this is true. we Germans don’t tend get our hair done for such an event except the bride and maybe her bridesmaids.
i hope you have a great time here in germany and you’ll catch one of the sunny days :)

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By: Ulli http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287298 Ulli Tue, 02 Aug 2011 22:54:53 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287298 I am German, born and raised and the first question I have his:

Are the two people Germans?
What time is the wedding?
Is it part of a hotel/venue or backyard function?

Either way, the easiest way is to ask the people who invited you to give you some guidance.

And be YOU. I read a lot about “don’t stand out” , “don’t be boisterous”, “wear back slacks or pastel dress”.

Wear what you like and shine. For real. :) You are not German, so why dress or talk like one. That’s just silly.

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By: kelleyn http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287296 kelleyn Tue, 02 Aug 2011 22:41:55 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287296 I think you should ask. While Germans do not go as far as wearing fancy hats like the brits. It seams like everyone was dressed really nice at my wedding. Germans while they do love nature and love to wear their birks also love to wear their fancy shoes. I would go with church attire! You can’t go wrong!

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By: Michelle Glauser http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287292 Michelle Glauser Tue, 02 Aug 2011 21:56:10 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287292 I agree. And try to talk quietly instead of the normal boisterous American way.

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By: Kate The Great http://www.designmom.com/2011/08/ask-design-mom-what-to-wear-to-a-german-wedding/comment-page-1/#comment-287282 Kate The Great Tue, 02 Aug 2011 20:10:19 +0000 http://www.designmom.com/?p=12654#comment-287282 The casual wedding receptions here in the States (that I’ve gone to, and I’m a Mormon) for girls means anything goes, but wear a skirt. Or a dress, and you can dress it up or down, whichever way you choose. But definitely something dress/skirt like. Dressy slacks might work too, but definitely dress that up.

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