My hospital ID bracelet. I'm officially in labor.
Today, Flora June Blair is one month old. I can hardly believe it. What was our family like before June arrived? I don’t even remember. To mark the day, I wanted to write down her birth story before I forget the details.
On the phone with the midwife at 3:00 AM. Mid-contraction.
June’s Story
Do you think it’s possible to mentally shut down labor? To stop contractions with your brain because you can’t wrap your head around the day? I think that’s what I did.
You may have seen my Walk of Shame post on May 7th. Early that morning, my brother-in-law, Mark, had answered our middle-of-the-night call and quickly come to our home to watch over our little sleeping flock. At about 3:30am, we checked into the hospital. It was 5 days before my due date. My contractions were strong and coming 3 to 5 minutes apart. I was clearly in active labor and we settled into our birthing room, excited, nervous and ready to have the baby.
Headed to my hospital room. Yay! The baby is almost here. (But not really.)
I’ll be honest, I was sure we would arrive at the hospital and have the baby within the hour. It was going to work out perfectly. The baby would be born around 4:30 or 5:00 AM. We’d be settled into our recovery room by 6:00 AM. Then Ben Blair would head home and be there when the kids awoke. He’d manage their day — make lunches, get kids to and from school and bring them to the hospital that afternoon. Easy peasy.
But after I’d been monitored and checked, I realized the plan wasn’t happening. I was 90% effaced, but only 2 centimeters dilated. At some point, it sunk in that this labor still had a ways to go. That Ben Blair would not be home by 6:00 AM. That I’d need to make like a thousand arrangements to get my 5 other kids through their day. And just like that, my contractions stopped. Completely stopped. (You may wonder why we didn’t have childcare plans in place. We actually did, but I promise, it’s surprisingly difficult to nail anything down when you don’t know the exact day the baby is going to arrive.)
One of the last contractions before I shut things down.
The midwife consulted with me. This was my 6th baby and she was afraid the labor would progress quickly once the contractions started again. She wanted me to stay at the hospital — I could walk the halls and that would probably start things up. But I was 100% sure nothing was going to happen labor-wise until I settled my head, so we went home with a plan to labor there and come back when I was farther along. You can imagine my embarrassment as we sent Mark home, apologizing for dragging him out of bed in the middle of the night. (I’m still blushing!)
We went about our Friday as usual (sort-of as usual — we were missing quite a few hours of sleep). Kids woke up. Dressed and ate. Went to middle school, went to elementary school, went to preschool. Went to dance class. And then, as each child came home and things started settling down for the day, (homework, dinner, baths, pjs, make arrangements for Ralph to go to the Father & Son campout with a substitute day) the contractions started right up again stronger than ever. I am not even kidding you.
We made new childcare plans for the night ahead, and started monitoring contractions.
Doctors typically recommend heading to the hospital when contractions are 3-5 minutes apart. This guideline was in my head and made it hard to know when to call the midwife. The contractions were so hard! I would fall to my knees and rock back on forth on all fours to get through them. But then, I would get these luxurious 9 and 10 minutes breaks between each one which made them manageable. And confusing.
I finally called the midwife to get some advice on when I should come in and how I should manage the contraction pain in the meantime. She heard my voice and told me to come in immediately. So we did.
We showed up at the hospital for the second time that day. It was around 8:00 PM. The midwife, Mary, checked me and told me the baby would arrive in the next half hour or so. She said if we broke my water, the baby would come in just a few minutes. (Random tidbit: 6 pregnancies and my water has never broken on its own.)
Between contractions: Life is great. Let's chat. Laugh it up.
During contractions: Ummm. Just kidding. Nobody touch me. I mean it.
I continued getting breaks between contractions and I’m telling you, it made the whole thing so much more doable. I could laugh and joke and chat between each. It was so civilized. Then I’d summon every relaxation technique I knew when I would feel a contraction coming on. If it came on steadily, I could manage the pain really well. Once in awhile I’d have one that would come on really strong right from the beginning, and then I would panic and tense and it hurt like crazy.
After a few more contractions I decided I was worn out. I asked Mary to break my water and she did.
[Tangent: I know there are women that feel empowered by childbirth (more power to them!), but I am not one of them. I feel empowered by many things, but childbirth isn't on the list. Yes, I'm glad I've experienced it. No, it's not my favorite thing. I've concluded there is no easy way to get that baby out of you. I've had 6 births. Half medicated, half un-medicated. And really, either way is exhausting and painful. Because this whole other person has to come out of your body. The last few minutes of labor just about kill me. I basically throw a 3-year-old tantrum where I fuss and yell that I can't do it, that I don't want to do it, that I want it to stop, that I hate it, that it's too hard, etc. And at the same time I have another voice in my head that's far more reasonable saying: you have to do it, you don't have a choice, it won't stop hurting till you do it, just do it.]
The last photo taken of me before I started pushing.
This is my midwife, Mary Wilterdink. She was wonderful. And she didn't get mad at me when I threw a tantrum shortly after this picture was taken.
After my water was broken, Ben Blair stopped taking photos and the room got serious. I had a couple of intense contractions and then it was time to push. And suddenly she arrived. After one push. One really painful push with accompanying tantrum.
Then I calmed down. Then I met my daughter. And she was perfect. She looked so exactly like each of my other babies that I knew her immediately and said something like: Well hello. I’ve seen you before.
It was 9:10 pm. May 7th, 2010.
Meeting June for the first time.
The followup: June was tiny. 6 pounds even. (Blessed day: no stitches!) We settled into our recovery room at around midnight. The room had a bed for Ben Blair which was wonderful. I was ravenous and ate a giant sandwich. We got as much sleep as we could that night and the next morning we checked out as soon as possible. I couldn’t wait to get home and introduce Flora June to her brothers and sisters. You can read about June’s Homecoming here. Oh. And you can see lots more birth photos here.
P.S. — I’d love your thoughts on the Pregnancy/Adoption/Birth series I posted through my pregnancy. Shall I continue them?
{ 169 comments… read them below or add one }
I absolutely believe you can talk yourself out of labor. Especially, since I’ve learned more about Hypnobirthing, it makes perfect sense. With my baby (born a week or so before June), I had the same experience with my contractions being far apart but intense. It was a good thing we had a homebirth, because if I followed the guidelines about when to go to the hospital, I don’t think we would have made it, since they never got super close together. Anyway, congratulations on your beautiful baby! And here’s wishing both of us some good nights of sleep!
my midwife has a theory that when the laboring mom starts saying things like “I can’t do this” ie. have a fit. That’s when you know it’s almost time to start pushing. It’s part of the process!
Beautiful story – thank you for sharing. Please do continue the birthing stories. Design is important, but the stories are powerful and meaningful. p.s. Anyone have a VBAC story to share? I’d love to hear one as I hope to have one in September. p.p.s. How did you get out of wearing that awful hospital gown?
I’ve been thinking about having more photos taken during my next labor and delivery and these confirm my thoughts. I want to remember the experience!
June and her story are beautiful.
I’d love to read more pregnancy/birth/etc stories posted. I love them!
Love the pictures and Flora June’s birth story! Yes, please, continue with the stories (series) lol. I love reading them.
I always love a good birth story.
And you? Are so very brave.
Best,
Tina
Congratulations! June is so lovely as are you. I think it’s all so super fantastic. I Love the birth story. (I had an enormous tantrum before having my baby Luca Plum, so I can totally relate… it seems a bit silly when I think of it now but I know I would do it again, seriously that natural pain… yowsa! All worth it when you see that tiny face, so perfect. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your birth story with us. I loved reading the pregnancy/adoption/birth stories so I vote for them to continue!
Happy 1 month June!
What a beautiful story and a beautiful family! Congrats, again! And thank you for being so real and honest. I totally felt like I knew you while reading this, and that I could tell you my birth story without judgment!
amazing. you look amazing. i loved following the story with pictures.
Thank you for sharing your birth story! It’s lovely to hear a mother of 6 detail the experience. I’ve only had one so far, and I was really struck by the inherent calm and wisdom of your tone when recounting the experience.
What a wonderful birth story! June will love reading this some day! Oh, and isn’t that first after-birth sandwich AMAZING?!?! Thanks for writing this up and sharing it with the world. :)
Thank you for sharing your story!
Your pregnancy/birth/adoption series was the reason I continued to frequent your blog. I am 26 weeks pregnant with my first and love reading about other women’s stories. It makes me feel more informed about what I got myself into :) I found myself reading them or emailing them to my husband too, especially the ones from dads’ perspectives. Please continue them!
I was so happy you shared your birth story. I really hope you continue with the Wednesday birth story postings. I look forward to them every Wednesday and was sad thinking that they would end soon!
I’m very thankful for the wonderful families that shared their personal stories. I don’t have one of my own (yet), but your experiences have taught me many things about life. There may be some curve balls thrown in the game, but you’ve got to roll with it. Life is unpredictable, and I can’t wait to experience that love some day.
Wonderful. I felt like I was there with you. I’m so glad that you wrote this down and then shared it with all of us :)
What a wonderful account. Thank you for sharing, and cheers to Ben Blair for those photos!
As for the series: I quite enjoy it, and would appreciate the opportunity to submit my own story which I didn’t do during your pregnancy.
Oh yes, please! The birth stories often have this hard-headed mama in tears!
You are such a beautiful pregnant lady! (I mean, non-pregnant too, but… you really looked great). Thanks for sharing your story and I have LOVED reading all the other stories too… I look forward to them every week. And since I’ve been pregnant (with my 3rd, 10 weeks), I usually end up crying while reading each and every one. They’re all so beautiful…
Home the next day to a house of five kids and one new born? Bravo Gabrielle, you’re a domestic warrior. :-)
I have loved reading the weekly birth stories and have missed them. I love that you went home to make sure your kids were OK before giving birth to June.
Gabrielle, thank you so much for having the courage to say that you don’t feel empowered by childbirth! It seems like the blogosphere lately is all about the other sort of stories–and all three of my labors have been really, really hard. I am such a Type A person that the complete loss of control over my own body after 24 hours of horrifically hard labor totally does me in–and then when I hear someone talking about their labor where they barely felt a twinge, I feel like such a wimp. So thank you again for sharing your perspective!!
I have LOVED the pregnancy/birth series. Keep it up, and your birth story was beautiful as well. Congratulations!
Oh, I love this story. Wonderful.
Your daughter is so precious!
Please continue the series!! I love it.
I can’t tell you how much I LOVED all of the pregnancy/adoption/birth stories. In particular, the one about the birth mom who gave away her baby. That one was powerful, beyond words.
Congratulations on your PRECIOUS little one. Bravo, momma!
What a lovely story. I was so happy you shared! And, yes, please continue the birth stories. I look so forward to them! Also, I just switched to a midwife after bad experience with a mean OB. Did you use them for all 6 births?
I just love the photo of you on the phone. Somehow you just manage to look so beautiful, serene and in control. Which, let’s be honest, has got to be second nature when you have six kids :)
Yes, please continue the birth stories – loved them!
I loved reading about your beautiful new baby June. Please do continue posting birth stories. I love the diversity of stories that you included. Both my birth experiences were fairly traumatic: one emergency C-section and one crash C-section. You’d think it would be sad for me to read birth stories, but somehow I am drawn to them. Perhaps because they are so different from my experience.
You look beautiful in all of these pictures. What a wonderful story!
I love the birth stories. It made me realize that I want another one. I don’t like being pregnant, but I love the day I give birth. If I could just have the giving birth part I would do it over and over… well maybe not:) I want to go natural the next time if possible. My body doesn’t have contractions that I can feel, and the epidural killed my back last time. When I see the cute pics of your older kids with June, it makes me excited. When we can finally have a third baby when my husband enters grad school, our kids will be older and can be more involved. Awesome birth story:)
I LOVE them! I have a major case of baby fever right now and your blog certainly helps with my pregnancy/labor/baby craving.
Birth stories are so personal and yet so easy to relate to if you have one yourself. Thank you for sharing yours!
I am envious of your breaks between labor. You looked absolutely gorgeous and peaceful in the photos.
What a joy to read about the birth of precious June! I wish I had had some of that info before and during my child bearing years! The pictures are wonderful and everything about the story has class and reality. The words, the pictures and the marvel of it all.
Love and appreciation,
Julia b
I loved your story and the many stories you have shared from other women! I would love to see it continue!
Gab,
I want you to know that I totally believe you shut those contractions down. I did the same thing while delivering Emma (what? No, I can’t have a baby this early, shut it down…). Lots of people have believed me, others think it’s silly. But until you experience that for yourself, well… Let’s just say that the mind is a very powerful tool.
We hope we get to meet Baby June next month when we’re in Denver. I’ll be in touch.
Kisses…
D
Oh, I love reading your story and knowing how June came into the world. And to have it in writing with Ben Blair’s beautiful photos – what a treasure!!!
Please keep your pregnancy series going – it’s gorgeous beyond words.
You look so completely radiant and womanly in these photos! Just incredible. So happy for your family!!
I just loved y0ur birth story and pics. How wonderful that June will have a story of her birth. My sons birth (so many years ago) was such a whirl wind that I can only remember bits and pieces but both my nieces and my daughter-inlaw let me in for their child’s birth and watching them bring life into this world was just the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. Someday I hope to write it down for them. Congrats to Baby June for having such a wonderful FAMILY!
I’m not sure you need another vote, but I too LOVE reading the birth stories you post, especially when they all show different experiences (C section, Natural, Home Birth, Induced etc). Please keep them coming! (and congrats on Baby June! she’s perfect!)
Thanks so much for sharing!
Beautiful. Tears in my eyes. Happy belated birthday to you, Mama, and to June. xo
Thanks for sharing your birth story (and all the other stories). It was wonderful to read them. I take my journal to the hospital and write down my birth story while it is still fresh in my mind (usually after I’ve been moved to a recovery room and I’m waiting for my husband and and our sweet new baby to come back from the nursery – why does that always take soooo long?). The end of labor is always so hard/scary/unreal for me. I’m glad I’m not the only one. :)
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story. It’s amazing how every woman’s story is so different and unique. It’s amazing how when we have our minds wrapped around something, we can do anything!
Thank you so much for writing your birth story for all to read. It was truly inspiring. I am due to have my second baby in August, and I too threw a tantrum pushing my first child out! Your words are so poetic and honest, and they really resonated with me. Thanks again.
I love these stories! How did you manage to look so beautiful throughout? Holy cow, woman. :)
Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing it…Made me cry as a matter of fact….I want a baby and have finally found my best friend to have one with…
thanks for this simple and real birth story I could really identify with at 20 weeks with #2
I love that you were so adequately able to put into words many of the feelings I felt with my two labors. I showed my husband the photos…no contraction, life is good; contraction, don’t touch me. SO true! With my first, I was literally writhing in bed grabbing whatever I could grab (which often happend to be my husband’s belly), the pain was SO intense…and no relief at the end. None. At. All. Screaming at the top of my lungs through contractions…sheer pain. But almost exactly two years later, after my son was born, my husband kept saying, “I mean, it was just so smooth. It seemed so easy”. Like night and day (even though it was daytime…and my son was born at the exact same time as my daughter. 1:26 pm). The contractions were gradual, the doc had to break my water (it broke on it’s own the first time), smooth sailing, no screaming, calm and peaceful. Not because I knew what I was doing, it was just so different…gradual. (I even remarked as my feet were in the stirrups as I awaited the next contraction so I could start pushing that it was awkward we were all standing around staring at my crotch. With my daughter, I could not have cared less, didn’t even notice, I was too busy flailing and hyperventilating.) Amazing how all labor’s can be so different.
You look amazing. Seriously considering that photographer during labor/delivery for the next one (whenever that happenes to be).
How I loved this & especially the fact that you are so clear about not feeling empowered by birth; it’s such an individual experience & the more we share how varied such things — parenting, let’s face it — are, the better for all.
And that Juney June, from afar, I just heart her.
welcome to the world miss Flora June! (love the name) designer + a ginormous family …you are my hero.
blessings to you and yours!
Thank you for sharing. You looked so lovely throughout the whole process.
Loved your story. I love the part about the tantrums. I feel the same way.
Love that you were civilized.
June is totally beautiful. What an angel. Congratulations! The pics of all your sweet kids had me getting teary eyed. So many great moments to come.
Hypnobirthing changed my life (this is not an Infomercial.) That, and Rikki Lake’s documentary, “The Business of Being Born.” Highly recommended. Mazal Tov to you!
I’m so terribly late reading this!
What an amazing birth story… I love all the photos.
I too have temper tantrums during those last few moments of birthing babies. But I’ve only delivered two and I think I’ll stop there.
WOW – what a story!!! And such beautiful photos! Ben Blair is one talented hubby. :)
I can’t believe you have done it six times! And I can’t believe you got out of there with no stitches. But after six births, you deserve a stitchless birth.
I love the name June. It is my nickname for Susan’s daughter Julia – even though she was born in May. LOL It is because I called her junebug when she was a baby. I don’t know why. I have never even seen a junebug — I hope they aren’t horribly gross. I have a feeling they are and so I won’t look it up. But now I call her June. It is my special name for her.
Being pregnant with my first now I love reading these birth stories and having them all compiled in one place is just great!
Congratulations! I’m both a bit bummed and reassured by your statement that no birth is easy. The first wasn’t for me and I don’t have much hope that the second will be either. But then I read stories where people seem to find it blissful and I just don’t understand. Amazed you’ve been through it six times!
Hi Gabrielle,
I’m a new visitor to your blog and I must say that I adore it. I’m currently 38 weeks pregnant with my 4th child and our first boy and it’s so funny I’m reading this now because something similar happened to me last night only, they weren’t real labor contractions (at least I don’t think so). Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m all choked up reading this story. Your perspective on just about everything is not only refreshing but real. I read your FAQ’s as well and love your ability to embrace beautiful things (design etc) but you are still real about life with children.
Anyway, you have a new fan here. And a HUGE cheers for the top 50 of Time Mag websites. You deserve it.
Beautiful story! I’m amazed and impressed that you went natural. For my first birth (which happened in Feb. of this year) I decided to go epidural just to help control the fear I had beforehand. It ended up being the best thing for me, especially since our little guy (not really little – 10.1 pounds) was facing the wrong way and needed a little help coming out! But we had a great doctor who knew what he was doing and everything ended up being fine. :)
I totally believe you can stop your labor. For me, the midwife on duty was not one that I was comfortable with and I’m quite certain that it stalled my labor. So glad you could get your other children together and settled so that you could bring June into the world. I love the photos you have of your experience and wish I had more but I know they would not have been G rated! LOL. Congratulations on your little one!
Oh my goodness, I love this post. It so resonated with me. I was totally the “hahah everything is great, i’m so happy!” between contractions and “get away from me, don’t talk, don’t touch and don’t even try to encourage me” during contractions.
And I also threw a tantrum during the last rush of pushing. My poor dr. was trying to encourage me “you can do it!!” “No! I can’t! YOU DO IT!! Get in there with those tongs and GET IT OUT!!” Oh man. So hard, but so great. And oh, the meal at the end. My husband almost missed the birth because I sent him out for two meatball subs and a six-pack of Sprite. Besides the baby, the BEST part about giving birth.
Love the story. And I am bewildered that both birth stories I have read have both of my child’s birthdates in them. I also named my second baby girl, Flora. She was born, April 22, 2009. I love the name!!! My oldest daughter Ciera was born May 7, 2007.
Congratulations! You are amazing to have so many children. I love your honesty in the story about how you feel about birth.
I just found this series, and I am so glad that I did! My partner and I have been trying to conceive for over a year, and we just found out in June that we have to do IVF, which starts in September. Since the beginning of this whole parade of months of negatives, procedures, surgery and disappointment, I’ve been searching obsessively for birth stories that I can relate to and find some sort of comfort in. I have this strange urgency in needing to know what it’s going to be like, and these stories are perfect. I hope you continue them!
I love a birth story. Yours had me teary even though I don’t know you.
And it reminded me of my last labor, #4.
10 days before my due date, dialated to 4. My dr. stripped my membranes and said, “you call me as soon as labor starts. It might be fast.”
Trouble was I had 2 kids home with strep thraot and one whose tonsils were so swollen he could hardly breathe. I was up with him the whole night before shaking him awake when he gasped for breath.
His dr. gave him a big dose of prednizone in hopes that it would shrink the tonsils enough for him to breath normally.
Otherwise he’d be admitted into the hospital that night for monitering.
Say what?
Amd, to make matters really worse, my boy threw up each time he tried to take that nasty medicine.
So much so that we had him sitting on the back porch in his underwear, trying to take the medicine and barfing.
I was totally in labor by that point but I was not allowing myself to think about it.
Instead, I trying to figure out how James and I would both be in differnt hospitals for the night and hosing the barf off the patio.
It was great.
Finally my husband got prednizone my son could keep down, we got everyone in bed for the night, I took a shower, had some dinner, folded some laundry, sat down on the couch and yow! my contractions really started to hurt.
I called the dr and went to the hospital.
Not that you cared about any of that, but there it is anyway.
Hope you don’t mind me stalking your blog and reading all about you.
I am inspired by you, your family, your life and the things you are doing.
Love from,
Greta
I love reading your stories. you draw us in into your story. Thanks for writing this blog. it never gets boring
Your birth story reveals such a refreshing and healthy attitude towards childbirth, especially resonating as you are a mother of 6: amazing! I truly enjoyed the part about “another person needs to come out of you”… so practical! I feel a healthy baby and mother should always be the goal, but it seems there is an increasing fixation on natural birth and dealing with the challenge without medical aid… and that those who do so are “real woman”. That maybe the best choice for some, but after my birth (very long with back labor so I went for the epi after I got to 5+ cm) experience, I am glad my body was in expert hands. I hope to have another although I do not think I will make it to 6!
Oh, wow, those homecoming photos from 2 yrs ago make my ovaries ache! Happy birthday, June, and many years to come!