This is a letter that I wrote to myself. I wrote it to a younger me with the advice that I wish I had known when I found out that I was pregnant with my first child.
You’re standing in the bathroom, scared as hell, holding a positive pregnancy test in your hand. Yes you’re married. But no, you weren’t exactly planning on motherhood just yet. You’re terrified. And you’ve learned that it does matter if you forget to take The Pill for a day (maybe 2? 3? Oops.)
But calm down little girl. Wipe the tears off your face. And think about that little kid growing inside you. A little kid (a girl!) who will to love you more than anybody else. A girl who will run to find you first thing every morning. A girl who will cuddle with you for stories every night. A girl who will learn from you, depend on you, and frustrate you. But a girl that will awaken a piece of your heart that you didn’t know you had.
You’re scared. You’re in the middle of your last semester of college. Your husband has at least 2 years of school left as well. You’re poor. You’re really poor. And what about the teaching career you’ve dreamed of since you were just a kid yourself? You feel like you’re losing a part of yourself–sacrificing your body, your brain, your ambition. How can you be a mother? Feed, clothe, clean, teach, carry a child? You can’t even take care of yourself (see what you did with The Pill?) how can you take care of a baby?
Megan, you can be a mother. And you will be a mother—a mother who will cuddle and nurse and rock her baby just like mothers have from the beginning. You will be imperfect. You will worry, oh you will worry, but you will raise that baby the best you know how. And “the best you know how” will be more than good enough.
So, go tell that good husband of yours the good news. Because it is good news. A baby is great news. And go blow your last 5 bucks on some ice cream. Being a mom rocks.
P.S. Should I also warn you about the twins you’ll have after that little girl? You’ll do okay by them, too.
Note from Design Mom: for the duration of my pregnancy, I’ll be posting advice, memories and stories about pregnancy, childbirth, adoption and growing a family on Wednesdays. You can find them all by clicking here. I’d love to hear your story or memory or advice, feel free to submit it to firstname.lastname@example.org.