Letter to a Younger Self from Megan Hinckley

April 28, 2010

This is a letter that I wrote to myself. I wrote it to a younger me with the advice that I wish I had known when I found out that I was pregnant with my first child.

Dear Me,

You’re standing in the bathroom, scared as hell, holding a positive pregnancy test in your hand. Yes you’re married. But no, you weren’t exactly planning on motherhood just yet. You’re terrified. And you’ve learned that it does matter if you forget to take The Pill for a day (maybe 2? 3? Oops.)

But calm down little girl. Wipe the tears off your face. And think about that little kid growing inside you. A little kid (a girl!) who will to love you more than anybody else. A girl who will run to find you first thing every morning. A girl who will cuddle with you for stories every night. A girl who will learn from you, depend on you, and frustrate you. But a girl that will awaken a piece of your heart that you didn’t know you had.

You’re scared. You’re in the middle of your last semester of college. Your husband has at least 2 years of school left as well. You’re poor. You’re really poor. And what about the teaching career you’ve dreamed of since you were just a kid yourself? You feel like you’re losing a part of yourself–sacrificing your body, your brain, your ambition. How can you be a mother? Feed, clothe, clean, teach, carry a child? You can’t even take care of yourself (see what you did with The Pill?) how can you take care of a baby?

Megan, you can be a mother. And you will be a mother—a mother who will cuddle and nurse and rock her baby just like mothers have from the beginning. You will be imperfect. You will worry, oh you will worry, but you will raise that baby the best you know how. And “the best you know how” will be more than good enough.

So, go tell that good husband of yours the good news. Because it is good news. A baby is great news. And go blow your last 5 bucks on some ice cream. Being a mom rocks.

Love,
Me

P.S. Should I also warn you about the twins you’ll have after that little girl? You’ll do okay by them, too.

From Megan of Mmmboppin’.
Image by *Zara. Via Design Crush.

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Note from Design Mom: for the duration of my pregnancy, I’ll be posting advice, memories and stories about pregnancy, childbirth, adoption and growing a family on Wednesdays. You can find them all by clicking here. I’d love to hear your story or memory or advice, feel free to submit it to gabrielle@designmom.com.

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jamie April 28, 2010 at 1:23 pm

I love this. Reading this, I am filled with emotion and having a hard time explaining it here in this comment. But I know exactly how you feel. Thanks for sharing.

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2 kirsten bingham April 28, 2010 at 1:30 pm

oh i love the “go blow your last 5 bucks on icecream”
i know how it feels to be scared, in college, poor and pregnant. it feels like the best thing ever!!! yes, being a mom rocks like nothing else.

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3 Lesley April 28, 2010 at 1:32 pm

So beautifully stated! Thanks so much for sharing.

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4 Martina April 28, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Love this!

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5 Anna April 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm

This is brilliant. I laughed and teared up…must be pregnant myself. :)

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6 Becca April 28, 2010 at 2:16 pm

There is something so reassuring about a more experienced mom telling a newbie that she’s doing a good job. Even when it’s you, telling your past self. I am blessed that my son’s birth-grandmother reassures me of it all the time. It’s definitely a unique relationship we have, and I never would have asked for it. But that doesn’t mean I can’t see that I truly am blessed for it.

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7 Fruitful Fusion April 28, 2010 at 2:27 pm

I loved reading this! It really took me back to when I was expecting my first at 20, in my last year at uni while hubby had 2 years left … and we weren’t financially stable at all! But yes, it all works out in the end.

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8 Claire April 28, 2010 at 3:02 pm

love this!

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9 Beth April 28, 2010 at 3:31 pm

Well, here I am checking blogs I read regularly and I find my sister-in-law the author of a pregnancy post on Design Mom. I didn’t know you’d submitted something. I’m jealous of your fame and fortune, but not surprised. You have one of the best blogs that I know of. And you’re a great mom!
Love you,
Beth

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10 Amber, theAmberShow April 28, 2010 at 4:07 pm

The link to her blog is broken!

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11 damaris April 28, 2010 at 5:30 pm

I loved this post. O tried the link to her blog but it didn’t work :(

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12 Loni April 28, 2010 at 6:36 pm

loved this post. i planned my pregnancy but am finding myself completely scared of being a mom. this helped me remember (again) that it will be worth it!

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13 allison April 28, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Thank you so much for sharing this.

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14 Angela Noelle April 28, 2010 at 7:34 pm

This was a GREAT read…and I’m with Amber – would love to be able to jump to Megan’s blog.

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15 Angela Noelle April 28, 2010 at 7:40 pm
16 Design Mom April 28, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Sorry about the broken link! Thanks for letting me know. Just updated it.

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17 jes [a mountain bride] April 28, 2010 at 11:16 pm

awwww…how sweet. and sassy.

i wrote a couple letters to myself too. except, they were written for my “older” self…to remind myself of my childhood goals, what i thought was hip, and what my dreams were. my best friend and i made “time capsules” when we were in 3rd grade and buried them in her yard (this cracks me up – we must have seen it in a movie or something!). We dug them up in 8th grade…read them…laughed over them…and added to them. We re-planted the capsule until the year we graduated from high school.

Our “little” selves were pretty stinkin’ cute.

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18 Melanie April 29, 2010 at 9:38 am

This is my favorite so far… it is exactly how I felt with my first. Except I refused to take a preg test for 14 weeks because I was SURE I just missed another month for some odd reason…

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19 Tracey Chalk April 29, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Great post. Love the ‘twins’ addition to the letter. That really would have freaked the ‘scared little girl in you’ out!

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20 Carmen April 30, 2010 at 5:05 pm

I love this post, it made remember myself 12 years ago…same feelings, same scare, but as you said at the end everything went just fine, just perfect. Everything turned in a perfect baby girl who filled my life with joy. My husband and I love to remember those days, and we feel so happy to see what we have now: two little blessings, two pieces of us. Thanks for sharing!

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21 Tanya May 8, 2010 at 7:55 pm

I wish I could say more than Thank You, but I am overwhelmed with thanks for this letter.

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22 Kelly May 14, 2010 at 10:38 pm

This post is fantastic and very well stated. I felt as if you were telling my life story as I read your letter. I too, wish I would have known how happy and amazing life would be after our little girl – while I was in tears and fearing for my life as I knew it. Thank you so much for you honesty and sharing your story!

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23 Miss Stovetop May 24, 2011 at 9:36 pm

I can’t believe I only just read this. So cute, funny and true :)

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24 Erika April 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm

As someone who has not yet had the surprise or joy of a positive pregnancy test I can say I was tearful because of the fears. Unemployment and other life issues have delayed children for my husband and myself. Thanks for sharing ER can make it even if we think we are incapable

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