Comments on: Ask Design Mom — Having Another Child http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/ The Intersection of Design & Motherhood Fri, 18 Apr 2014 20:35:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: vacation home http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-878684 vacation home Tue, 01 Apr 2014 04:30:37 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-878684 Your style is so unique in comparison to other people I have read
stuff from. Thanks for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll just book mark
this page.

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By: home furniture consignment chicago http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-862209 home furniture consignment chicago Fri, 07 Mar 2014 13:28:44 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-862209 I love what you guys are usually up too. This
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By: Heidi http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-837035 Heidi Sun, 26 Jan 2014 00:47:13 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-837035 Hi, I know that this is an old post but since I am feeling totally exhausted today and just not got the Christmas decorations away, I thought I would write and tell everyone that I still don’t regret having 5 children. We had them quickly, because we married at 30. 5 children in 7 years is busy, but doable. I don’t regret it for a second.

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By: kalle http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-457763 kalle Wed, 24 Apr 2013 18:41:02 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-457763 I just read Eva’s comment above, and it makes me very wistful… would really appreciate any advice, especially from older mom’s (I am late thirties, had one miscarriage and am feeling rather desperate, husband isn’t really helping….??)

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By: kalle http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-457761 kalle Wed, 24 Apr 2013 18:35:40 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-457761 Loved reading everyone’s “plans”, very sweet and comforting to know what other women have gone through. I am just wondering though, please tell me how you can afford having more than 1-2 children? After we both got degrees, we are still paying off loans and paying a lot in rent for a rather small but expensive house. I”m in Canada, and would sincerely like to hear how finances played a part in deciding to have children. I am yearning for babies, but it looks like I may have to be through adoption….perhaps living expenses or maybe salaries are higher in the US? Thanks much love from a sad and curious girl…

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By: Heather Craw http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-437622 Heather Craw Mon, 11 Feb 2013 01:03:19 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-437622 I wonder all the time whether to have one more child. I love the three I have so dearly, wouldn’t just one more make our family that much happier? The problem is, I’m 35. Actually, the real problem may be that my husband is 39.

The scientific community used to think only the woman’s age really mattered since her eggs have been with her since birth, but men continue to produce sperm throughout their lives. Unfortunately, it turns out more and more trisomies and “soft birth defects”, problems like schizophrenia, depression and possibly autism that don’t manifest until childhood or early adulthood, are being linked to paternal age. As a woman of faith, I believe in a plan, but I also believe that statistical probability is no respecter of faith.

I’ve tried to hash out my personal struggle with the question of having another baby on my blog a number of times. Sometimes I wonder if the two miscarriages I had are the same little person who wants to be part of our family. Sometimes I think no matter how many children I ended up having, I will always wonder if I should have had one more.

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By: Elena http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-403830 Elena Tue, 30 Oct 2012 09:56:21 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-403830 I am sorry your husband is reacting like that. Whst do you think it is triggering that reaction? Is he affraid for your health?
Getting mad about something could be a indicator of fear, something he cant control and scares him, It is easier for us ladies to speak up about our thoughts and feelings, but some guys have hard time acknowledging or elaborating what they feel…

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By: Taylor http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-357320 Taylor Thu, 17 May 2012 02:31:43 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-357320 How can I talk to my husband about having another child? we have one already and planned on waiting a few years for the second. i was more then fine with that until i had a miscarriage a few months back. I didn’t realize how bad i wanted a second one until it was gone. now every time i bring up, or even mention having another one, he completely flips out and gets really pissed off. it’s not like we can’t afford it, and we have great health care, how can i even talk to him about this with out getting him so mad?

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By: Auntie#1 http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-334720 Auntie#1 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 04:30:39 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-334720 Do my ‘part’ that is…not ‘par’

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By: Auntie#1 http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-334719 Auntie#1 Wed, 25 Jan 2012 04:29:25 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-334719 31, almost 32 and single…I want to be married and have lots of babies but that has yet to happen…I’m confident that, as many have mentioned, Our Heavenly Father has a perfect plan of happiness for each of us! Children truly are ‘an heritage of the Lord!’. As I hope for, wait for, and do my par; I trust in the Lord. I have the awesome opportunity to develop talents, be the best aunt to my nieces and nephews, and enjoy my career as a school teacher-teaching kiddoes now for ten years! Life is Good!

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By: Molly W. http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-318246 Molly W. Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:03:28 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-318246 I always thought I would have 3 kids, then I had 1. I had a pretty rough pregnancy (to say the least) and my baby arrived 2 months early. Due to insurance, etc… we’ve not had another. Now my daughter is 5 and I’m at a place where starting over doesn’t seem like something I want to do. Also we still have the same insurance issues (ie no one will ensure me for a pregnancy due to all my trouble w/ my last one) so I really feel like the choice to have another has been taken out of my hands. Thankfully God is so good and I am happy with where we’re at.

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By: How many kids is right for me? | | Becoming youBecoming you http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-308730 How many kids is right for me? | | Becoming youBecoming you Fri, 11 Nov 2011 18:02:57 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-308730 [...] Having another child @ Design Mom [...]

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By: Eva http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-2/#comment-307295 Eva Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:15:38 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-307295 I stumbled upon this and am fascinated by everyone’s reply. I am now 56 years old and these stories bumped me back to my early twenties as we were contemplating all this. I had my first when I was 21, as planned, was nursing him and feeling VERY tired. Found out I got pregnant with #2 and didn’t know it until I was 4 months along. Was devastated b/c I was so sick with #1. Didn’t get sick once, delivered #2 when #1 was 14 months. I then went on to wait 3 years in between the
next two, then 6 years went by and had #5. B/c #1 and #2 were so close, I never ever had whiny kids. They entertained each other. I never had bored kids hanging on my legs wanting me to do something with them. They also learned all the important life lessons because we were poor and had to share and we couldn’t afford two cars. All five have turned out to be Wonderful adults. The oldest two have 3 master’s degrees between them. The third is in med school. The fourth is working on a second college degree and the fifth is in her Senior year in college. They love getting together. Everywhere we went was an adventure, even though the fighting drove me crazy. They grew out of it. One of my sons loved coming from a large family so much that he and his wife have 7. They PLANNED on six, but #6 turned out to be twin boys. They are such a joy to me. I wish families would go back to they were like in the 50′s when I was young and have 8 – 10 children. You would have no “entitlement” attitude and they’d be smarter from all the problem-solving. Just a rant from a 56 year old. Thanks

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By: The BabbyMama http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-1/#comment-306942 The BabbyMama Mon, 07 Nov 2011 15:29:43 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-306942 This subject is SO on my mind right now. We’d always planned on two (well, once the hub got over his initial reluctance to have any, heh) and then when I got pregnant with twins after we had one, we suddenly were pleasantly reconciled to three. Cue my miscarriage *sigh* and then we were plunged into a kind of darkness. Suddenly it was clear we needed to wait for financial reasons. Suddenly, I was back in the “real” workplace. Now we’re trying to figure out what is right or best or right for right now. I want another and would actually like three, but I think the hub’s mind is back at two. We’ll see, I guess. I’ve just been putting it out of my brain lately by putting it into God’s hands, if you know what I mean.

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By: Karen http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-1/#comment-304340 Karen Fri, 28 Oct 2011 09:22:44 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-304340 Love the photos! We had 5 children in 9 years, I was 39 when I had my youngest, who is now 17. It’s so good to have all these beautiful young energetic people in my life! May God bless you and your family!

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By: Kiesha http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-1/#comment-300750 Kiesha Mon, 10 Oct 2011 13:04:33 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-300750 Wow! Loved reading all the stories! These questions have always been hard for me to answer…I am the oldest of 14! In my family there was No family planning…and it was considered the “best way to do it”. And to make matters worse…I enjoyed growing up in a big family, but have never been certain I would follow suit. Then I married a Samoan…average Samoan family size 8 children…In that culture the bigger the family, the better! Let just say PRESSURE! I knew I wanted 1 child for sure but couldn’t decide when, so we decided not to do anything and see “when” it would happen…six years later I had a baby boy. After having him I knew I wanted 1 more because I couldn’t imagine him being an only child…I loved my siblings…I couldn’t decide “when” again so we let it happen and now prego with #2 (another boy) my boys will be exactly 18 months apart…Whew!…I don’t know what the future holds but I have learned to answer people when they ask me “how many children I want” I just say “1 at a time!” We will see what happens!

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By: Fancy http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-1/#comment-300640 Fancy Fri, 07 Oct 2011 14:41:51 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-300640 This page makes me slightly sad. My husband and I got married when I was 21 and he was 22. We were both still in school, but I thought we would have lots of babies. I have always wanted a big family (4-6 kids) and my husband is okay with just 2 kids. I thought because we were getting married so young that we would have plenty of time to have a big family. Well, fast forward 11 years. Still no children, not for lack of trying though, and currently have been waiting to adopt for 2 years.

My husband says he is okay with having lots of children, if we can afford them. Since it looks like we will be adopting all of our children, it doesn’t seem like we will be able to afford a big family….plus, with the amount of time it takes just to adopt one….I don’t want to be an old mom….Sigh…. My dreams are being shattered.

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By: Joan http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-1/#comment-297940 Joan Wed, 28 Sep 2011 17:03:53 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-297940 Can I just say that I find this page terribly funny? Oh, “the best laid plans”!!!

My plan? Date my boyfriend forever, get married at 34 and commence to churning out 4 babies, back to back. The reality? Had the first one (who is the light of my life, by the way!), went “OH CRAP! What have I done?!”, and vowed to never have another. Which I didn’t.

I’m not sure how I feel about the way things turned out. Sometimes I love our tiny family, and sometimes I cry over the ones we didn’t have.

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By: Joanne http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-1/#comment-293598 Joanne Tue, 30 Aug 2011 18:01:37 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-293598 You are still very young as far as childbearing goes. Don’t think it is the end to turn 21. I had similar thoughts and didn’t marry until 38 and got pregnant two weeks after despit the Dr.s telling me it might take much longer than someone in their 20s. It is important to find the right one for you. You don’t have to do everything like your Mum did. As far as only having one ovary- if it is healthy, you can seek out medical help to increase your chances of pregnancy when the time comes. Don’t worry, give yourself time and keep hope.

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By: Shameme Adams http://www.designmom.com/2009/11/ask-design-mom-%e2%80%94-having-another-child/comment-page-1/#comment-289902 Shameme Adams Mon, 15 Aug 2011 05:21:47 +0000 http://www.gabrielleblair.com//?p=225#comment-289902 Good luck with all your children!! but for me i’ve only ever wanted one. I adore travelling and due to financial restriants haven’t seen as many countries as i’de like but seen a bit of the world and would like to see more!. Once i’ve ticked them off i’de love to just have the one. I’m sure children are expensive and i’m an only child myself and loved it!!. I do have some medical problems too and am not the strongest of women. For social reasons too i haven’t found the right man, i loved a lad fairly recently and he just ended up breaking my heart :( so i must be ment to be an older Mum!. I’m 30 but look about 18 so i think i’m living like an 18 year old in some ways! but if i don’t find the right person by 35 or 36 i’ll probalay adopt my baby. I have friends who have adopted and it’s really worked out for them. My Mum had me when she was almost 36 so maybe i’ll follow her!. I respect everyones choices and hope you all make the right ones for you!!.

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