Comments on: Innocence Lost

By: ashlynn

ashlynn — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 17:58:00 +0000

Love it! I printed your story out for Coby to read – thanks!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 23:28:00 +0000

I love what love.boxes wrote about telling kids about the real St. Nicholas. It’s a great compromise. I say let the magic last as long as possible, until they actually ask. You don’t have to worry that they won’t believe other things, like about your beliefs etc. You just tell them that some things are make-believe and are for fun, and other things are real, and we take them on faith. They’ll come to know how to tell the difference.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 10:06:00 +0000

i’m struggling with the same thing this year with my 3rd grader. she’s so trusting and we’re afraid she’ll loose trust in everything we’ve taught her (like jesus and nephi), too.

we didn’t tell my (now)6th grader until the spring of his 4th grade. it seemed to go well, but during church at christmas time, his eyes were watering while he drew a picture of santa on his sleigh, and he whispered to me ‘you know that thing you told me about santa? i wish you never would have told me.’ it still makes me sad to think about it.

my mom told our family by writing a cute book about all the busy, sweet things santa did and ending it with a picture of my dad dressed as santa.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 01:46:00 +0000

My dad outed the whole Santa thing to me when I was but a small child of 4 (my mom was not happy)–I threatened to have my step-dad adopt me, but backed down when my dad informed me that I would no longer have my cousins on his side–ah, childhood logic! I like how Ben handeled the dreaded F word. When I inquired about it, I had to play the guessing game with my mom by saying every F word I could think of until I got close enough that she got mad–probably better to just let it out in the open, otherwise it becomes a fun game.

By: Design Mom

Design Mom — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 16:02:00 +0000

I’m loving everyone’s stories!

For those who are curious, Ralph is nine. I’m pleased the Santa stuff lasted this long.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 14:47:00 +0000

I’m also curious…how old is Ralph? I dread when my kids (my oldest is 7) start hearing the worst of the bad words/perjorative anatomy terms, etc.

By: lisa v. clark

lisa v. clark — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 14:33:00 +0000

My mother always insisted on Santa's realness, and as we got older and figured it all out, it was really fun to feel like we were carrying on the "real Santa's" work. . .

We knew a couple who refused to acknowledge Santa at all because, apparently, he was scarred for life when he found out "the truth." I feel like they are doing a huge disservice to their kids in so many ways.

Gabby, as always, you and Ben handled the situations excellently.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 14:06:00 +0000

Someone I know had a child who confronted her about the existance of Santa. The Mom insisted that Santa was real and explained who the orignal Santa was and how we can all now take part in secret giving. She then took her child to the store to buy a gift for someone else initiating the child in the “Santa club”.

I had another friend who, upon learning that her parents were the real Santa, helped her parents one Christmas Eve with bringing out all the gifts…she hated it. Christmas morning lost all its magic.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 12:39:00 +0000

Those pictures are so awesome!
My oldest son is in 5th grade and we had the Santa talk a month ago. He is up for the task of “helping” keep the illusion alive for the rest of the crew or I told him he would die an early death. He seems OK with that arrangement, being fond of breathing and all…

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 11:00:00 +0000

how old is he?
my daughter is 3 + i don’t think she’ll make to his age before i tell her about santa. she’s too inquisitive about how things really work.

By: robin k

robin k — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 10:17:00 +0000

Sweet sadness. You and Ben are awesome, and Ralph is now awesome (I love how he helped Jonah with the ugly situation).

Love your post, too, Jared.

By: laura

laura — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 09:18:00 +0000

you made me cry! sweet little Ralph is growing up. i can’t believe someday i’ll be talking to Connor about the same things. hopefully i can handle it as well as you guys did.

By: Bonny Brae

Bonny Brae — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 00:42:00 +0000

last year santa was outed by our key speaker during sacrament meeting.

needless to say, none of the moms were very happy with him.

it was one time we were hoping none of the children were paying attention in church.

By: laurie

laurie — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 00:06:00 +0000

the juxtaposition of these two stories is fabulous. precious and jarring all wrapped up in one nice neat post. well done. and those pictures of your dad are too good to be true. what treasures they are!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 23:48:00 +0000

I would tell Ralph that the real story of Santa Claus is much better than the fiction. Once upon a time there was a real person who in an effort to follow Jesus did some very kind things for children and now millions of people try to do likewise 1800 years later. I will tell my child, when the time comes that I have been honest with her, I believe in Santa Claus, the real one. I believe in being kind and in passing on a tradition that brings so much happiness to so many children.

By: Denise

Denise — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:56:00 +0000

Oh I feel the tears coming…maybe because my own sweet Emma is just a few months younger than cute Ralph and they’ve always been a lot alike in many ways. She is a firm believer this year — but I’m guessing we’re reaching the end. Ben’s responses to Ralph’s questions is fantastic parenting at its finest and a great example. It will help me be similarly prepared. Luckily Emma still consdiers “dumb” a bad word. Ahhh, but they grow and change right before our eyes.

By: Jenni

Jenni — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 22:44:00 +0000

we have been having this exact conversation in our house this week..the “F” word that is…it is kind of jarring to hear your 7 y.o. daughter say it…the 2 older kids wanted to know what it meant, so i told them, and then i told them that it doesn’t make a lot of sense the way people use it and they will probably hear it a lot, but they shouldn’t say it because it doesn’t take a lot of brains to use it and it is the most offensive word…something like that

i’ve been wondering when josh would figure the santa thing out, how did ralph find out? i keep thinking this will be his last christmas as a believer…

By: jared

jared — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 20:56:00 +0000

the Santa outing for me was one of my best christmas memories:

my room was right next to the family room, and i could hear the older kids/parents sneaking around christmas eve. Josh came in and made up some bs story about what they were doing – I was pretty sure that santa wasn’t real, and as soon as the noise died down i jumped out of bed and ran out into the family room, i knew the presents would be set up.
The christmas tree lights were the only light, all the presents were there, and my mom was sitting on the ottoman in the middle of the room; I thought i might be in trouble or something, but she was happy and had me come sit with her and we just sat there for a while, it was really peaceful.
I got to help with presents each year after that.

By: Bess

Bess — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 17:34:00 +0000

When I was six I outed Santa to a fellow first grader. She was not happy and then her mom called my mom. I guess I was a mean kid. Along the same lines I also told the same girl that Mormons were better than Catholics. Another phone call to my mom ensued. Since then I have learned that Mormons and Catholics are equally lovely people.

By: Mom in Mendon

Mom in Mendon — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 17:31:00 +0000

The f-word. It’s a big leap between knowing the word and knowing what it means. When I was teaching jr. high and found the word on a wall near my classroom, I asked an older teacher what to do. Unconcerned, she said, “Just take a marker and change the F to a B and the middle letters to O’s. Then it spells BOOK.”